The Matrix: Re-shitty-movie-ed

What a piece of shit!

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
--bloodless action scene--
repeat x10
oh wait, x1000

Bend it like Beckham was better than that shit!

There were like THREE good shots:
1. The long shot of the stairs in the big fight w/ the French guy's troops where like three people were flipping from right-to-left. I keep thinking about that.
2. A couple of parts in the fight w/ all the Agents when Neal had the pole
3. I can't think of another one.

The funniest part was in the end where they have to blow up the power station (or whatever) to get inside the building and Morpheus talks for about ten minutes, then they actually attack the power station and it takes like 3 seconds to disable. It's kinda like they were all, "Let's do the end of Shaft, but in a dumb way."

The fights had NO sense of danger. They repeated shit that was super-cool from the first movie (especially the shot of Morpheus jumping way high in the air when he's on the truck) and it just looked recycled. The dialogue was TERRIBLE TERRIBLE.

And that ending was a joke. OOH, the guy who CUT HIS HAND is gonna come after us now!

...I'm really surprised by how much I disliked this movie, actually. I really have no interest in seeing the sequel.

Anyway, I'm in NY for an extra couple days, coming back Saturday night. I hope everybody has a great time at Booblacon! Except Rudy... have a good time at your salsa class buddy... pick up them MILFs!

Love, Jon

Plus if you squeezed somebody heart to bring them back to life you would NOT want to kiss them because they would probably IMMEDIATELY start throwing up.