jr0n, the only eating that will occur when we all throw down will involve you, ja -El and one cup. I'll supply the fart meat via your own soiled diaper. Bon appetite, turd burglar. You know, you are right about the paint thing, there is no way I can scratch the paint on those "finely" painted miniatures. Every time I look at that janky shit, I want to scratch my eyes out with a rusty crab fork. I rather like my eyes so I will continue to avert my glaze from the Sistine Chapel of hemorrhoid-festooned baboon anus paintings. jr0n, if my superior intellect equates to shit for brains, what does that mean for your electrically dead, rotten squash? Obviously your skull is filled to the brim and bubbling over with the remnants of ja -El's many failed, and now putrefied, "8 inch inseam" equine penile transplants. As far as shitting pewter, oh you better believe it. Only a goddamn bastard such as myself is so damn hard he shits metal. I live and breath fucking metal you flaccid whore-mongering cock gobbler. I shit more manly than your entire summed existence.

Ja -El, you can "round-robin" jr0n's balls all you like, but keeps that foul anal probe you call a tongue away from me. I will break that shit off and kill it with fire. Or maybe let jr0n play dolls with it. Whatever. You, Shafting me? Ha, I think not. The only shafting you will have the dubious honor of be involved in will entail "receiving" because, hey, that's what bitches do! Stand and deliver? Nope, Stand and Receive. That is all you can look forward to and you'll like it.

Who asked you Ry? The little girl goes to Hawaii and thinks he's grown a pair. Has the salt water has finally corroded that mash of tofu and steel wool bobbing about on your neck? Get in your place alter boy. Oh and jr0n, make sure you make his mini's anatomically correct. A light needle for the frank and sand grains for beans. I'll help deliver a round of punches once your garden-hose grade guns tire, but we'll need a microscope to hit that shit.

Also, jr0n & jA -El, lemme check with my secretary if I am available that day.

D>M>

Saturday is good for me. With all this buildup, I think one game would be kind of a letdown, since the game Smear the Queeron and I will be playing will only last about 15 minutes. I propose a round-robin format? and do an all part nighter.

| Don't think you're safe Ryan

Just because you're over the ocean and you don't play this particular game. I'm going to create an army made up all of dudes named "Ryan," make tiny greenstuff balls for them and then individually punch each tiny set.

Not sure why you had to bring Rodney King, Martin Luther King and Jesus into the picture Ja-el but the Rubicon has been crossed. I'm going to torch the houses of your miniatures so bad that they're going to organize into groups and hold a mass protest in a tiny 30 mm scale version of Tian Man Square, and then I'm going to run them down in REAL tanks. I'm going to throw down on your army like Brent Richmond throwing that retarded kid down the bleachers.

Enron I hope you're wearing a diaper on your head because you've clearly got shit for brains if you even think you can scratch the paint on my finely painted minis. At the end of the day you'll be eating your words, and your miniatures. You'll be shitting pewter my friend.

But at the end of the day, actions speak louder than nerds. What day are we holding this ultimate grudge match? I propose Saturday so that we can go late into the night if required. Any opposition?

| Jeeez!

Jeeez.

| Oh Shit, now Mikes mad!

Enron, mboy, there will be such a beatdown that even r0dn3y king couldn't imagine, and would make the M4rtin L8ther King hisself, roll over his grave and praise the mighty L0rd Hesus for everlasting forgiveness. My sin will not to be save my soul, but to save my long shaft of infinite love for you on the battlefield. In fact you will recieve such a long and extensive shafting, with such loving caress, that it will orally portrude. In fact, it will be so loving that all the Happy shiny people WILL start holding hands. Oh, and Jon and Mike will love it as well as they lick the head end together as I enslave their Khador armies and trade their swords into thongstraps and black leather muzzles to amuse their masters.

9 days await! - better start writing your last rights.

| Mad, oh shit now they all are!

Next time we throw down, you best wear your most voluminous depends, jr0n. Expect to defecate yourself in short order as my faction runs you through like Butt-ah. And this isn't going to be just any old sit and shit day-cruise, it's going to be one hell of a bowel movement. After your done, you'll be lucky if you have any bones left.

Tricks you say jr0n? Bring it. Let's see you Swing with the big boys or is that axe wound between your legs holding you back, peon?. I laugh in the face of your "Superior" trickery skills you gonad-faced baboon! You are barking up the tree of Cryxian treachery and talking to me about trickery, little chihuahua boy? There is a reason Cryx rhymes with Dyx and Tryx. The Bastard will deliver the skull-fucking of your life. Bet on it jr0n Simpleton.

And where is that quivering mound of femininity, Ja -El. Did I scare your little shitburger chops out of the forest? Wake up, we cross swords next weekend, be prepared. Incompetence will not be tolerated. You better bring some sawdust stuffed in that overambitious, underutilized grape-smuggling jockstrap of yours, Pant-wetting is assured on your part. Suck it Trebek!

D>M>

| Oh shit, now I'm mad

That's it my fine feathered friend. No longer will I caress your fair skin with the silky gloves of good sportsmanship. Oh, no. From this day forth I send nothing but the dirtiest, nastiest, smelliest tricks this side of yo' mama at you. Enjoy your hike tomorrow because next weekend you're gonna be so scared, your jelly-like knees won't be able to support your terror-swollen body and all of your bones south of the pelvis will spontaneously shatter, leaving only a liquid like mass that will look on in horror as each of your pulverized miniatures is destroyed, one by one!

| Oh, shit...

All talk and no game, eh? I invite you to inspect Exhibit A:

"Best win/loss record by player: Enron! 40 games logged, 23 victories. My hat's off to you, sir.
Worst win/loss record by player: Me! 42 games logged, 16 victories. Why do the ones we love, always hurt us the most?" **
**Eat this.

Your own words, 'gina boy. Seems I will be serving up Ass of jr0n for dinner after creaming nancy-boy, jA -El, like a ten cent whore at lunch. Looks like were gonna have a barbecue, ummm-K.



"My new home is in Aptos, I like stout men like eLzar. I'll be seeing you around boy, in my cellar... You like ball gags right? And games of chance. And knives. And Submarines. Yummmm...."

| Oh shit, Enron's apparently mad

I think you're all talk and no game chief. Yeah we're all real scared of your unpainted "stealth camo" army. Hey I got an idea, why don't you field Terminus so I can shoot him to death in turn one again? I'm sure you remember that game, it was your best one.

Now that we're all super pissed, check this out: pretty good online army builder. Still got some bugs apparently, but worked pretty well for the list I built.



- "I hate when you guys talk about Warmachine!"

| meatheads

I think most if not all athletes are meatheads, especially water-polo dudes! I wrote a more scathing condemnation of water-polo about 3 mins ago but hit the wrong fucking key and lost it all!

After playing the UFC videogame, I totally have a better understanding of it and appreciate it a lot more. I really think the public trend is heading more towards MMA (mixed marital arts)than boxing. And besides, boxing is still so incredibly shady and seemingly corrupt, bah, to the new age of fight sports I say! Plus, believe it or not, supposedly MMA is healthier for the fighters because you take a couple good shots to the head, they stop the fight. Boxing, you go 12 rounds getting pounded over and over - sure there's gloves, but there's a lot more long-term damage being done do these dude's brains. They get all shakey and crippled-like!

RABBI'S Adventure!
Gonna buy this game tonight, so thought I'd share the link:
SHIVAH - A rabbinical adventure of mourning and mystery.
They were talking about it on one of my new favorite podcasts, Idle Thumbs (check it out Eric) and it sounds awesome! Old school graphic adventure game but seemingly is pretty open-ended in the investigation part where you sorta gotta keep notes and you actually feel like your solving the clues. $5 bucks and there's a demo, let's do this my goyemz.

| Ultimate Meathead Competition

Yeah, I have to agree, the meathead factor is way too high in those UFC type fighting leagues. I just can't watch those fights. It's just too brutal and fast. While I don't like Boxing, I can at least understand why people like that a bit more. It usually lasts longer and is more of a technical and stamina competition.

Ja -eL: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon. Cardboard cutouts? Maybe all of your faction should be made from toilet paper tubes with printed images on them. That way, I can literally crush them under my thumb when your war-lording skills crumble under the pressure of my superior intellect.

D>M>

PS, am I really just setting myself up for a spirit crushing anticlimactic loss in Warmachine to a n00b such as ja -El? Oh boy.

That's part of the secret dude! Think there's a real advantage when choosing the right units/combos... It would be aesthetically pleasing if you have the miniatures, but, if not we can always just use subs and our imaginations.

Edit: I just finished watching Ultim8te f8ghter .... bleh, what a bunch of meatheads. Seriously... There are a few intelligent ones, but I guess it taking one too many meat-fists to the head doesn't make the lightbulbs shine.

Cardboard cutouts, you say? I'm intrigued! Do you have any particular army mans in mind yet?

That's an excellent bit of trashtalkin! and pretty much all that can be said, so all I can bring to the table is a little wisdom from the Wayans...
“Yeah, you weren’t so tough when mastuh was kicking your ass.”

Although, last week you elevated your fearness factor when you gave Matt that good trouncing in lightning fashion. So that does back up your smack talkin a good-bit. I'll have to make a few little cutout cardboard miniatures for some practice games like they have in Car Wars.

man... I'm excited.

| Suck it Trebek!

Ja -El, when you are done celebrating the defeat of Mykenoth in that mud-filled lumpy melon perched between your shoulders, come play the real deal, Yo. Read all the rules you want, spank it all night and then come to meet your sovereign lord. My Cryx with Dyx, or perhaps Merkins, will be more than willing to throw down, while drunk, and still manage to slyly serve you your own finely sauteed penal colony for lunch, and you'll come begging for seconds. Oh shit! No wait, I meant, we'll have a jolly old time chap. Cheerio!

I will be unavailable this weekend, but next, jA- eL, your hot ass is mine once Mykenoth is done smoking your Cygnar, this is if you are man enough to be in town.

On more pedestrian note, I find out if I have a job next month on Saturday. Here's to good fortune.

D>M>

PS, since Myke never posts, I figure I had to ramp up the shit talking to fill the void.

Anytime! Perhaps Cygnar shall have a civil war as the drunken former allies fall to infighting. Or, perhaps you'll take something else out for a spin. Anyway, we can probably hook something up for the weekend of the 17th. (We might play this weekend as well, but I guess you won't be around yet.)

Speaking of, any SF WM crew up for a warmachine rematch, a la carte? Cuz Mike better be hungry for some sandwich of hurtin. I'll be back from exile by next Munday.

(P.S, been readin up on the rules, no drinkin, so bring it on)

I thought this was awesome. Star Wars is divided into 15-second clips, you sign up to make one of the clips, and in the end they all get spliced into one coherent (if bizarre) whole. Anyone want to sign up?

Hey Denis -- glad you mentioned future floor polish -- how do you use that stuff, anyway? I've still got a bottle of this magic wash that you gave me a while ago but I haven't used it yet. Do you use it to cut inks kind of like you use matte medium for?

We saw Zombieland last weekend. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason anybody who is on this blog wouldn't enjoy it, it's light and funny, but with heart. Shrek it out!