Friday, August 04, 2006

pro-dogslaughter

That has to be the word of the month.

My confession? Aaron used to dress up in a ballerina outfit and prance around our bedroom at 2am, lipstick badly smeared across his face while singing along to Tiny Tim's "Tip Toe Through The Tulips" in full falcetto. I'm not sure, but I think that's illegal. Or, it damn well should be. I feel so dirty for harboring that secret for all these years.
"Tens of thousands of people die in traffic accidents each year, but we don't ban cars. Dogs are simply easy to persecute," said one unsigned posting on Xinhua's electronic bulletin board."

what an idiotic argument - Theres way more cars than dogs and if you get rid of all the drunks, drug users and teenage drivers, we'd have much less accidents.

Fucking dog lovers. Sorry dude! We can kill birds, We can kill cows, chicken, rats and everything else we hate. But no! we can't kill dogs according to these damn environmentals.

I'm not against humanity towards animals, I'm not for pro dogslaughter. But to justify it by setting double standards of which animals we can and cannot be humanely killed is a self defeating proposition.

Save the Furbolgs! being cruelly slaughtered daily on Wow!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

"My Confession: I killed Eric once."

Fucking brilliant!

Entertaining things to do!!!

1. Watch this --pretty hilarious.

2. Google up the phrase "puff dragon tattoo" and check out the first link. NSFW, possibly NSFB (not safe for brain).
My confession

I killed Eric once... He wouldn't clean his shit up and we got in this huge bitch-slap, mud wrestling, man-whore cat fight. He told me he was moving out and that he didnt love me anymore. Then he said he was going to tell the cops about the corpse in the rafters. Bitch! So I chopped him up and stuffed him in the couch. Then I felt bad. Using his anatomy books as referenece, I reconstructed him. Unfortunately I lost a few partz while dancing with his giblets. So I five finger discounted a ΒΘΠ Jovi frat guy's wiener while he was sleeping off some booze and some flat chested women's breast meat while sleeping off a couple roofs. Hence his obsession with 'wieners and boobs' tattoos. Or "oottat" in dirty SD talk. I also needed a few used university medical corpse parts. I called him Frankenwiener for a while, but then his special lady friend got suspicious.

Dont say anything rude.

D>M>
Wow man, I'm glad we're sharing. One time I was at this frat party and I was having a really good time and I was in this room with a hot chick, but I found out that really it was a dude who was totally faggin' out and making me think he was a chick. Not because he had long hair or anything, but just because he turned me on so much. Fuck! So anyway after I found out I knew what I had to do. That's right. I just took that knife and I, I cut him. From his neck, down to his anus. Then I cut out his mangina, and I ate it.

But yeah, Rampart division FTW!

(Seriously man, congrats. This is a life change that I know you've needed for a long time, so it's good to see things moving in a positive direction. Just remember, after you pee into the cup, make sure to sift out any roaches or stems floating in it.)
LiL.A.P.D

Congrats on the county job! You are now an official public servant and you can never be fired, outside of gross negligence, and from what I understand, you get a pretty good benny package! Sweet!

Since you are now one of the Action Team, AND one of the LAPD, we can confess all our crimes and since you are like a cop, and we are your teammates, we are also like cops, so we cannot be punished, right? Let's find out! Who's confessing their small indescressions from college first? Okay, I'll start: One time at SDSU I tried to put a roofie in a girls drink at some party, but then some dude drank it instead! I was so mad so I took the guy home with me anyway, then Enron had his way with him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, cause I'm no homo, then Enron felt so much guilt for going gay, we killed the poor guy, and stuffed him in the rafters of the house, hoping the rats that lived in our walls would eat him and his bones before anyone found out that Enron buggered him.

Whew! That is a load off. I feel much better knowing that I cannot be charged cause Rudy works in law enforcement! And I know Rudy!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Hey Jael, this is a followup to your post on the game spreadsheet about Carcassonne. It sounds like the Count expansion would address some of your concerns. It gives you more flexibility to "attack" with the meeples. Plus it's cheap! I think it costs only 1 or 2 chickens. There's a good review of the game here, check it out.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Booze

The training went well. Saturday I started drinking at 3pm and had 5 Budweisers, 2 Belgian ales, 4 glasses of red wine and a gin martini. Spread over 9 hours, I did pretty well. Only blew a .02 BAC at the end of the night. Today is the first day I have gone without a drink since June 30th. Kind of gross really. No hangovers though. A high mark for me.

Elzar, even with my super improved tolerance, 3 Guinness and 3 Strongbows would be a mean buzz for me and most likely a nasty hang over.

BevMo is kick ass. Chris and I used to make runs there all the time for fine brews back in SD. Twas the best place for beer selection back then.

On the flipside, while walking down the strip from New York New York to The Luxor I got propositioned by a high end prostie and 3 minutes later asked by two fine buzzed gents "where the ladies were?" My gut reaction was, how the hell should I know, I am an uber Nerd you fucking idjiots. They must have seen a condom in my bedroom or something in a premonition. However, I responded most boringly, "I dont know." They also asked if they could have my shirt. Weird. Funny. What I should have said is that there was one fine lady just a couple 100 yards back looking for a lonely guy to go hang out with her. The moral of the story, walking alone on the strip during the eve can be a little colorful. Listening to all the other people talking is great too. A lot of idiots. Man that place is a magnet for Midwesterners and frat boys. O, I feel for your desire to get the truck out of dodge the minute you can.

D>M>
I think one of the highlights of the weekend had to be Pat unbuckling his seatbelt, turning around and pummeling the buckled-in Aaron and David in the 3rd row while I'm trying to navigate through the insane Vegas late-night strip traffic. That, and the sweet-spot speed bump action for the last-row fellas. Hehe..

Erockenstein: I hear you on the bad-dad guilt thing. I find that I've cut down on my questionably-moral behaviors quite a bit since becoming a dad. I don't subscribe to Maxim anymore, don't play a lot of bloody/violent video games anymore (especially with kid awake in house), generally don't go out so much, and especially don't get hammered so much. What's worse than having a little buzz going on when I get home (or feeling like shit afterwards) is coming home smelling like bar (sweet combo of beer breath and ashtray stench). Maybe it's just my childhood coming back to guilt-haunt me, but I just can't stand the thought of being bar-smell Dad.

Speaking of. Haylee can now get her wrist above the kitchen counters and grab shit within about 6 inches of the edge (GAAAH!!) ... it's never boring, that's for sure.
3 Guinnesses and 3 Strongbows isn't a lot of alcohol!? Dude, that would knock out a Killen!

I like BevMo too. Try picking up a 4-pack of Beamish next time you're there if you haven't tried it before. It's a super yummy Irish stout that is something like Guinness, but with something of a coffee taste! Frankly, it is delightful!
God Save the Killens

First off, I thought it was hilarious that Enron was "in training" for this event by getting buzzed to drunk every night for a month before. Second off, there is just no way my body and mind can drink anymore.

During the world cup, I met up with RDub and some of his co-workers at The Underground for the 9, or 7am, I can't remember which, match between England and some other team. Anyhoo, Leslie drove me over so I could drink and I was so excited to have a morning on the town I took advantage!

I was behind Ryan and Co., so I had to drink really quick to catch up. I think I ended up having something like 3 Guinness' and 3 Strongbows. Ordinarily, not so much, but to a sleep deprived body that had nothing to eat that day, I was absolutely devastated.

When Leslie picked me up, we went to Trashcan and had a burrito, and I slept as soon as I got home. When I woke up, I was ravaged by a headache for the rest of the day, wooziness, and a total encompassing tiredness, which is a great thing to have as a father of a newborn. It was ridiculous.

Since then I have had probably 3 beers and 3 Strongbows (they sell them at BevMo!, which is a rad store for buying many different beers). And even when I have a beer, one beer, it makes me not feel right.

Maybe it is new dad guilt, I don't know, but until I give up on the fatherhood thing and reserve myself to lead a life of spousal and child abuse, I just don't think I have it in me to drink to excess anymore.
Crime and Punishment

Well I guess congrats is in order. Rude in the halls of justice. Be sure to play lots of Black Flag on your computer while working there.

D>M>
Just got offered a job! Was like the 3rd interview of around 5 or so I'd done to this point. Was a pretty ok seeming one (coolest people at least) within the halls of the LAPD ... muahahahah! ;) SO, now I just gotta get a background and drug test done next week, and (god willing) i make it past that, I'm in! Look out puny citizens!!!
Rough around the edges

And so after staying up until 3am and getting up at 7am (not by choice mind you) two nights in a row and piling caffine on top of alcohol on top of heaps of delish food and sleeping on a 6 foot by 5 foot marshmellow, I am so dead tired today. I slept like a log last night for about 7 hours and that was not enough. Ugggg... All I can say is, thank goodness for Jolt gum and double espressos.

Having a Cabanna at the pool was really nice. It kind of confines your space so you dont have a million shitheads surrounding you and no shade, which is always the down side to community pool/lounge activity. Plus a fridge by the pool is tits.

As usual, I sucked at gambling and David continued to demonstrate the power of the giant horseshoe buried in his ass. Bonehead has some mad skillz and luck at the blackjack tables. The only thing lacking is his self control for walk away while he is way ahead, Like 400% ahead, and not drinking so much at the table.

Needless to say I am poor again. Stupid spensive Vegas.

Great to see the family. Great to be back. Exhausting.

Rude: Are you still working or did you leave your last job? What made you head towards working with law enforcement personnel? Well good luck on the hunt. Uggg I hate job hunting.

D>M>

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Oh man, I almost forgot it was the big weekend of debauchery for Enron "Killen My Liver" Killen. How'd that go? Anybody need their stomachs pumped or anything?
Well, I went out with a man friend this weekend, and while I won't put the details either, let's just say it involves me getting drilled in the asshole. Good times. Oh, kidding! ;)

I did 5 interviews last week including 2 at LAPD Parker Center downtown. One of the jobs was preeeeeeeetty intense. I'd be sitting at the front desk in the detectives office for the division that does fraud and identity theft, etc. It was intense cause the other LAPD related city-jobs that I interviewed for were more abstract I guess. I'm in an office inputting data or something, but I'm not really interacting with the cops. This one was THE fucking room that you see in all these tv shows, albeit not the drug or homocide depts. But dude ya, a bunch of gnarled up and wrinkled-shirt wearing dicks in a overcrowded and small office. Was pretty surreal. Fuck, have 3+ interviews next week - hope I get one of these fucking jobs.

Japanese Game Show Madness Redux : CWAZY TAXI! This one is pretty funny. Also takes a min or two to get going and obviously you're missing what the hell is going on with the talking, but the action is pretty L-O-L funny!
Operation: Let's get *crunked*

Dood, my arms. Partying with the Killens & Co. until 3am will do that to you. I can't believe Eatball is 21. There's just something that doesn't feel right about that.. but we had a great time last night, and I'm sure everyone is going to be cursing that they have to wake up this morning to be at lunch by noon to meet Haylee. LOL. Good times.
Indoor football and aged limbs

(cut scene: ragnar thanking the world and squints his eyes smirkly)
(phase scene: Jael appears in an action scene with audible techno beat)
15000 miles across the hemisphere, I circle the defenders and make a fake lunging attack on the soccer ball... miss!

Anyhow, I played some good ol European indoor football, or American soccer, whichever, whatever, and it was fun. I have to say 1) not being coordinated 2) not knowing how to play, I did fairly well. It's a fun game. I am also slightly hurt from trying to move in a different direction than the natural allowed motion of the ankle joint. Age does wonders to bones.

I also went out with a lady friend on Saturday and it was nice.

I won't put anything in detail so no one has to go through the dredgery of reading boring drivel.

How's everyone else's weekend?