Friday, June 17, 2005

Burn em all! Burn em all down!!!

little cocksuckers...

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Ball Suckin' Week or Bitchfest '05

Where do I begin? I swear I don't teach in the hood.

Yesterday during fourth period, a group of boys were laughing in the corner. When I asked them what was so funny, as boys do, they quickly gained their composure and swiftly game me an unconvincing, "Nuthin'." This happened again, and again, "Nuthin'." I looked down and up again toward them quickly to try to catch them, and I got a laser pointer in my eye from one of the kids. I was not injured, more annoyed.

I walked over to the boy who shined it in my eye and demanded the laser pointer. Suddenly, nobody knew anything about a laser pointer, and I was crazy. Each boy in the offending party all looked at each other and had no idea what I was talking about. So I said, "That's fine. I'll get the principal and VP involved." I walked over to the door, which was propped open and slammed the fucking thing shut so hard that it shook the whole building. As I turned around, one boy said, "Mr. Walsh, the laser pointer is on your podeum." I grabbed it and another boy said, "What are you going to do with it?" I said, "Probably break it." He said, "You can't destroy my property." I said, "Okay, so the laser pointer is yours then." Silence. "Mr. Walsh, do you curse?" I responded, "Sometimes." The boy asked, "What kind of car do you drive?" "Why?" I asked. "Would you curse if something happend to your car?" I responded, "Now you are threatening me. I'd quit while I was ahead if I were you."

I brought the laser pointer to the principal's office at break, really not thinking it would be a big deal. Apparently I was wrong. The VP said that it was assault when he flashed it in my eye, and that I need to sign a statement, so I did. Flashforward to sixth period when another teacher came into my room and said he was covering for me and that I needed to go to the office. When I get there, the fuckin' cops are there asking me if I want to press charges, did I ever feel as though I was threatened or that there was a gun pointed at me, how far do I want to take this, etc. Not really being interested in ruining lives, I denied the charges and told the VP to handle it. To make a long story short, one boy is suspended until the last day of school and another is suspended until next Tuesday (the longest our district can suspend a student is 5 days and the shiner got 5 days).

On top of all of this, I have heard nothing from any job that I applied and interviewed for. The one I really want, my dream job, hasn't called me back either. Needless to say, I am stressed. I will be in a bad place if I do not get a job offer from any of the avenues I persued, and I am not kidding. I think staying at school until 9:00 three nights in a row hasn't quite helped either, but there are so many fucking papers to grade before Monday... Fuck it. I need a beer.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Fucking Grab Bag of Shit?!?

Cocksucker. I have heard this word more times in the past few days than in all my previous days combined. For you see, I have witnessed the first season of Deadwood, and my, oh my, how the vulgarities doth fly in that crazy, kooky, Deadwood. Without even looking, I'm sure there is a cocksucker count somewhere on the internet and it has to be high. Cocksucking high, you motherfucking fuck-cunts. See, I feel dirty saying it, and yet it rolls off the cocksucking tongue like so many fucking fucker fucks after watching the first season. Am I a worse person for it? Probably the fuck not, because at times the show becomes nearly unwatchable due to the fucking cocksuckers, so I am actually more aware of how swearing can fucking effect language and how cocksucking annoying it can be when used with too much goddamn fucking regularity.

Good show though.

Season II of Chappelle's Show is hilarious! The True Hollywood Story with Rick James and Prince were so funny. So funny.

Oh yeah, I'm reading Advanced Squad Leader. And I want to play it. So, take that, bitches. And for Ryan's enjoyment, ASL is the single most verbose and difficult to learn wargame system out there, and it was actually dead when Avalon Hill was bought by Hasbro, until it was licensed out to Multi-Man Publishing to reprint it. MMP is headed by none other than All-Star pitcher, Curt Schilling! Apparently his is a HUGE fan and supporter of the game!

SIDENOTE to Jon: Man, pretending that the England English slang word for "head" would be "Dan" makes me laugh out loud to this day. "Oy! He kicked me in me dan!"

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Grab bag of shit

-- Ryan, your job sounds like teh sux. I have other friends who went through the educational trial-by-fire of bad public schools. None of them had to teach middle school, though. You have my sympathies!
-- I hurt my finger playing football at work, WTF? It's all swollen up and shit, but hey, I caught some passes. Fuck you guys, I'm a fucking jock now, I'll fucking punch you in the ass with my penis.
-- Two drinkin' buddies from LA came up this weekend and oh, the drinking. I mean up-until-3:30-drinking-on-a-work-night drinking. It was great! We drank fancy-pants Fernet Branca with ginger ale shots. This is a drink that combines 40 herbs and spices into a brown sludge that tastes like perfumed dirt. Good though. Yum!
-- It's looking more and more certain that I'll be out of a job again in July. Can I get a :( ? Oh well, at least I will have paid down about two grand of debt from it and that's not nothin'.
-- I continue to make my Saves vs. World of Warcraft like I'm a fucking 15th-level monk. I barely have time to read the blog lately, much less run that silly-ass gnome all over the place. Not writing it off permanently, mind you.... Although their new contest shows they are definitely working to keep Denis involved.