Saturday, January 28, 2006

I need more free time. =(
Hey guys, miss me? I've been gone for a while, shuttling back and forth, drinking myself silly, working overtime and watching Undeclared. Anyway I see that everybody has given Mike some good advice, probably better than anything I can say... Mike, you're a smart guy with a lot of talent, don't worry too much and the rest should fall into place... that's really all I got.

My girlfriend is out of town for a while (doing a trade show in Vegas... man, Vegas is the place to go these days it seems) so I kind of have that little "I'm free" feeling. That feeling I need every few months so I can spend a couple days completely shaming myself by playing video games nonstop, painting miniatures for seven hours if I want to, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner and it being perfectly okay, not shaving, not showering, and drinking tons of espresso late into the night. Then in four days I'll be completely sick of idling away and ready to be part of an actual, adult couple again!

The first thing I did after work -- little bit of OT -- was do my taxes. Adding up those numbers off my multitude of W-2s was quite a revelation as it had not truly hit home how much of a non-earning bastard I was last year. Basically, the only reason I cleared $20k was unemployment. On the bright side, when I was working I was doing tons of overtime and therefore paying way more than my share of taxes, so I'm getting a decent refund. So I just tell myself "that was a year of transition dude, stay the course, victory is imminent" and then go make more espresso.

Um, so, without any kind of transition or anything... for those of you with DSes (only Eric? or have Denis/Ryan picked them up yet? Rudy you jumpin on that train?) I picked up Mario Kart and it is God damn fun. I mean, really super fun. I got a friend code sitting here just waiting to give to my online buddies!

D&D online... I hated the screenshots I saw. Good examples of overattention to detail with no attention to artistic flair. I imagine there are going to be a lot of gray and brown textures in that game. The gameplay sounds intriguing, but, eh, y'know, OS X. Hopefully now that Intel and Apple are in bed together, support for OS X in general will increase and someday in the future all these exciting games will be available to me as well!

Oh yeah. The next time there are at least four of us together, I'm running a role-playing game. Calling it. Done.
Cool write up on DnD. Had a feeling it was gonna be how you described. It's supposedly mostly instanced, right? I d/l'd the free 7 day trial of EQ2,just to see what the hell it was like, and ugh. The character creation is pretty awesome - can do some cool detailed stuff, but movement and action are crap- the next MMOs that come out gotta take a page from WoW on the whole fluidity of movement, etc. I just can't play something that choppy. Seems so backwards.
D&D Online

So, for $10 I purchased the pre-order for DDOL. This allows me to play the public beta for 10 days, and if I get the full game I get a +1AC amulet. Whatever. I got it for the beta. Anyway, I started playing it 2 days ago, and I am lukewarm to the whole thing.

This is coming from WoW, so I am seeing things through WoW colored lenses. Anyhoo, the graphics are proto-realistic, a la Everquest II, and they are also a little bit on the sloppy side. This might be due to the betaness of it all, but, it feels and plays a little herky-jerky. Also, I am used to the cartoony, bold, bright colors of WoW. DDOL is a much more drab take on the fantasy genre. It's also based in Eberron, which might have something to do with the look and feel of the game.

The main difference between WoW and DDOL so far as I can tell, is there are no level grinding, and no PvP, which is nice. No longer are you forced to commit genocide on Troggs or Rabid Thistlefur Bears, just 'cause. All quests are mission/quest based. So, go here, explore the dungeon, fulfill these requirements, leave dungeon, talk to contact, get XP and items. PvP can go to hell. I have been know to dabble, but only when the Horde get all jerky and attack me... Glad to not have to worry about it.

As far as the dungeons/quests go, they are much more player intensive. What I mean by that is, there is a lot more interaction with the environment, and a lot more exploration necessary. Sure, there are levers to pull that open doors, and whatnot, but it feels more open ended. There are traps, and things spot and listen for, which the game "rolls" for automatically, which is a nice touch.

On the downside, again this could be due to the betaness of it all, but some of the quests are a bit too tough/unbalanced to solo, which encourages party formation. Not so great for Denis and I, the anti-groupers in WoW, but very D&D feeling in and of itself.

Strangely, the best part of the game, which really makes it feel weird, is the "DM" voiceover in certain parts of dungeons. "As you decend the stairs, you hear what sounds like bone scraping on stone." It's a nice touch, that makes the game feel like a D&D game should feel, and distances itself from being a MMORPG at the same time.

It is the game that Neverwinter Nights should have been. I can see getting together with the old gaming group, and playing this game, like we were trying to play NWN. Since there is no level grinding, only quests, it perfectly lends itself for D&D party group play.

Anyway, I've babbled too much. I'm going to go play Three Dragon Ante with Leslie now, the Official D&D Card Game (TM)! It's actually a really fun game!

More from your favorite windbag later!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Someone donate everyones updated/new/future email addresses to me.

I am not sure the ones i have are still any good.
Anyone interested, I occasionally still get these job postings from my church group. I recently got one from Cisco, and it posts various jobs/hiring managers. It's an internal posting so it's better than most, if any of you is interested in getting it.

So anyhow, that's that. I am back in the philippines. Pretty cool, everyone is happy to see me, and vice versa. I think i'll have an enjoyable stay for another 6 months.
THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Thanks guys

What you've all said makes a lot of sense and has given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate the support, though I'm a bit embarassed about my earlier outburst. I know it must be a pain in the ass to only hear me complain all of the time and I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm at a bit of a loss for words, but I wanted you to know that it means a lot to me to read all of your blogs. Thanks. You've all got so much to say and such good advice, I hope that my reply doesn't seem too short. Whatever I decide or try to do in the future, I think I'm very lucky to have good friends like you guys.

M
<---- is definately least qualified to give "life-coach"ish advice, but I'll throw my 1/2 cent in for ya dude.

What you've accomplished is a pretty goddamned amazing thing becoming a doctor. I'm positive there's a way out there to spin all that work into something that will make you both happy and satisfied. I really have no clue what your options are (don't know much about the field, cept all the Docta Jones stuff) but what you've given yourself is a tool. You can use that tool in the safe, predictable, FDA-Approved manner and go the teaching route (or whatever you've picked up through all that schooling) or you can put all those 'gaming-genes' to work, and really dig into your imagination. Figure out something exciting and interesting to do with your hard-earned skill. Would mean you'd have to HUSTLE, but hustling is unavoidable if you ever wanna escape the confines of this system.

In the meantime? Get a job that gives you money and time. Money to survive off of, and time to use that doctor's brain to figure out yer next move. I know job-hunting sucks, and I imagine there's prolly all kinds of additional levels of crappyness associated with jobs in the academic field (sure there's plenty of politics to deal with) but you've gotta clear your head going into this dude.

Re: your lectures. LOOSEN UP. They're listening to YOU, because you've got something interesting to say. I have limited collegiate xp, (barely made it to 3rd lvl) but the proffesors and lecturers that stood out to me were the ones who KNEW their subject, and lectured as if they'd thrown out the notes. The gave the information out like they were sitting around a camp fire telling everyone an interesting story (even if the subject matter was god-awful.) You're being a performer up there on the lecturn; give em a damn good performance. They throw you some screwball question, be youself and be honest. What if me and Johnny had asked you that question? Would you stress about it? Nah, you'd continue the conversation even if you're having to completely go "off-notes" to come up with the answer.

Guess my main advice for you is to recognize the incredible accomplishment you've achieved, and embrace it. Don't let it use you, use IT. Have fun. Give the people a good show up their on stage! ;) You're just starting out with all this, so you're gonna still be figuring out how the hell to do it. But make sure you figuring it out in the way that makes YOU happy. Throw out the instruction book on post-doctorate existence, and write you're own.

You're a good guy Mike, and I know you (and all of us for that matter) have got what it takes to use whatever the fuck tools you have to YOUR advantage.

Be stoaked!
Here's the Deal

<.babble.>

You are at a crossroads. You need to decide for yourself, not your for parents, not for your academic mentors, not for your friends, what you want to do with the next part of your life.

With regard to your current situation, all you do is complain about it. You have no time, you feel you are not qualified, you'll never get a job, etc. Now, I don't know if that is what you say on the outside, and you feel something different on the inside, but from what I can tell, you are not fond of the path that is ahead of you.

That being said, you need to figure out if you need to change your life, or you need to let your life change you. Either accept, embrace, and celebrate your situation, and learn to adapt yourself to your current life of uncertainty, seemingly unending workloads, and academic status and prestige, or realize that this current story arc of Mike's life has come to an end, and re-invent yourself as something new and different. Switch fields completely, or just change your focus in the field you are in. Run a year round dig for college kids. Write books or novels. Screenplays! Invent and market the perfect widget to compliment every archaeologists needs! Shit man, sell your parents cabin in Big Bear, buy some property in Phoenix, then sell that, and do it all over again!

Whatever you decide, you need to make "it" your own, because life is absolutely too short to have shitty days followed by only by the dread of waking up and doing it all over again the next shitty day.

<./babble.>
Dr. Motorbyke, if I may:

Our time on this rock is painfully short, and even if we do get to reincarnate and come back to do it again, we don't remember the last visit anyway.. so I figure we must endeavor towards happiness and fulfilment in this life. If archeology and professoring makes you happy, then keep doing it. If it doesn't, then change the way you're doing it.. or do something else. That may seem over simplified or trite, but I find that the purest of truths usually are fairly straight forward. Time and energy spent on non-fulfilling endeavors is not just a waste of your resources and valuable time, but is time spent keeping you from pursuing the experiences and relationships you deserve.

/dr. phil

On a lighter note, I'm having a BLAST getting into modelling and texturing with some degree of mentorship and teaching behind me now.. only one class into each course and I've already picked up several kick ass tips and techniques that are helping immensely and clearing up some misconceptions/confusions I had about the process too. When we get a working Beta up and running, any of you interested in being testers?
Well...

//** Dr. Drill my ass

Myke, most of us have really ended up in careers not even remotely related to our collegiate field or our starting direction. I mean Jorn : Engarish > QA || Elzar : Art > Record Label > Entrepreneurship and Real Estate Development || MeMop Shitbag : IT > Architecture > Web Development > QA > IT Support > over-glorified administrative work || O Rugs : Business > Insurance > Gaming design/development. I know Rude has been on a general track towards music, but I don’t know if that is how he started out. Dennis, well I donno where he started. Ry, actually seems to have been the most consistent as he stated and continues on a direct path from college to a career. Look around at other friends, family or old schoolmates and you will find that it is systemic within our generation. Perhaps a result of the attention deficit disorder prevalent in our generation. A lot of people start in one direction to find many years down the road to be upon a different path altogether.

However, I don’t think anyone of us would say that what you have accomplished is by any means a failure or a waste. The purpose we fill in life may not be the one we intend from the onset, but as long as we work towards something like it is all just a part of the whole grind of a process until we find our niche. I have no way of knowing what you should do at this point since I have little or no first hand experience or frame of reference to your situation. From what I can tell, you are quite competent at gathering, filtering, and refining information so that you can pass it along to others in a useable format. That in itself is a highly desirable skill in both the business and academic worlds. Information organization of course is the essence of teaching. Yet providing it on a day to day basis takes time and consistent delivery to master before you become smooth and well oiled. Mmmm.. Oiled men. I mean popcorn! You just need to loosen up and feel good about what you have done so far. I mean none of us have had the balls or tenacity required to get as far as you have. You just need to realize that what you have completed so far is proof enough that you can perform in class. Maybe you need to loose some stress and force yourself to take some breaks here and there. Constantly working on finding employment for months on end can be very stressful and depressing. Trust me I know. Fulfillment needs to be found outside the search.

Dr. Drill my ass **//

Case in point... Painting rules. I am stoked to paint. I keep looking at my minis and I get excited about painting the next. Slowly but steadily I am working on them. It seems to have become my Zen if you get my meaning. Just relaxing and exciting all in one ball of cheesy waxy goodness.

Elzar: I have been hearing grumblings about that for the past week or so about the Booth Babes. Boooo... And so the Gaming industry moves one more step to corporate homogeny that eventually afflicts all cool hip and interesting industries. A weather vane of creative erosion in our culture. Case in point: EA. What a turd company.

O: Sweet Jesus. I love that scene. BTW that bit about the dogs, that has got to be bullshit. It is just too foul not to be. Uggg... "Dogs in corpse" equals revolting images of teeth gnashing at meaty ribs giblet badness. Yuck.

D>M>
31 year old Angst

Warning: May contain bitterness and self-loathing!
So, I'm back from an interview in Waterloo (which is about a hour west of Toronto) at a place called Wilfrid Laurier University. I thought it was great, but now I'm wondering if I'll hear good news or bad news... or indeed how I will tell the difference! Just finished a lecture at UCLA which I thought was crap. How can I have been doing this for so long and still be so bad at it? Got thrown off by student questions, which slowed down the lecture and now I'm at least a half a lecture behind. I feel that I never explain anything right or sound even remotely knowledgeable. Why am I doing this again guys? Remind me, or try to snap me out of it if you think I should be doing something else with my life. All I ever seem to do is work on this shit, and then I'm no good at it and I hardly ever have time for painting or games or seeing Aeryk and Dennis. When he dropped me off last week Aeyrk said ' see you in a couple of months.' At the time I thought it was a joke, but he knows me better than I seem to know myself. If I stopped being an academic, an archaeologist, what on earth would I do then? I don't have any skills, other than my apparently crap ones at lecturing and talking about a bunch of boring dead guys. Do you guys think I've wasted my life?

Ok this part is safe:
On a lighter note there was a game store in Waterloo which was cool. Elrock would have been in heaven - games, minis, scenery equipment, comics, paints and hockey. I took a picture and will post it later. Also the university has a bar in it called WILF's - I couldn't stop laughing to myself the entire time I was there - MILF's ha ha!

M
The Golden Age is Over

At least some of you guys finished your mandatory E3 sentencing a few years ago, when E3 was still about the boobs, not the games. Art, unfortunately, you are getting into video games a touch too late.

LINKY

I suppose it is better that Gathering of Developers (GOD Games) are no longer around, I just don't see how their crazy rockabilly/skateboard/drunken/hooker party could really exist in this new age of E3.

That was a crazy freaking spectacle, that party was.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

BTW... *NOBODY* fucks with da jesus.

So, I was driving to class tonight and they said something about hockey on the radio.. and I remembered that I haven't logged into fantasy hockey for a month and a half. 8-o Looks like the Tartars are closing the gap! Weee! Good job!

=)

So, I'm in my first week of classes for the new semester and I'm already feeling like I need to pick up an amphetamine habit. Ugh. We'll see how I feel in another week or two, but right now the extra two classes (plus labs) is really making me feel the added load. I am very stoked about my computer classes. The 3D Modelling and Animation course is being taught by an ex fighter pilot (flew wild weasel missions in Vietnam.. hard core!) who was also a lead at Pixar and ILM. He's a really great guy and has offered to let me sit in on any of his other modelling classes for free to pick up pointers and ask questions, which was pretty cool. They are also trying to put together a game development curriculum for next semester and he asked me if I'd be interested in teaching a class.. (insert bug eyed emoticon here) ..

Anyhow.. things are getting into full swing. Our Virtual Heroes meeting got pushed back because of a family illness issue. So, we've got another week-plus to bang on the beta-demo. (RUDE.. tunes!)

Go Steelers.. gotta root for them in the 'bowl for having destroyed the much hated Broncos in their home stadium in the AFC Championship game. LOL! The look on Ratahan's face was priceless. Now they get to pick nearly dead last in the draft and have nothing to show for it. Yeehaw.
#62852 sweeet rank
I knew I was special: 69.167.27.97

I have the 2nd "best" IP out of 19,000 so far, according to this site. Check it out, and see how you compare to the second best IP in the world!

IPSPOTTING

I wonder if this is going to open myself up to all sorts of attacks and whatnot. Sweet.

EDIT: A few hours later, and the total number of IPS logged is up to 32,000. I have plummeted to #9. So sad.
Great jorb, jerk.

Monday, January 23, 2006

I killed the blog.

=(

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Anne V - 01:01pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Okay - I know how to take meat away from a dog. How do I take a dog away from meat? This is not, unfortunately, a joke.

AmyC - 01:02pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Um, can you give us a few more specifics here?

Anne V - 01:12pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
They're inside of it. They crawled inside, and now I have a giant incredibly heavy piece of carcass in my yard, with 2 dogs inside of it, and they are NOT getting bored of it and coming out. One of them is snoring. I have company arriving in three hours, and my current plan is to:
1. put up a tent over said carcass, and
2. hang thousands of fly strips inside it.

This has been going on since about 6:40 this morning.

AmyC - 01:19pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Oh. My. God. What sort of carcass is big enough to hold a couple of dogs inside? Given the situation, I'm afraid you're not going to be create enough of a diversion to get the dogs out of the carrion, unless they like greeting company as much as they like rolling around in dead stuff. Which seems unlikely. Can you turn a hose on the festivities?

Ase Innes-Ker - 01:31pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
I'm sorry Anne. I know this is a problem (and it would have driven me crazy), but it is also incredibly funny.

Anne V - 01:31pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Elk. Elk are very big this year, because of the rain and good grazing and so forth. They aren't rolling. They are alternately napping and eating. They each have a ribcage. Other dogs are working on them from the outside. It's all way too primal in my yard right now. We tried the hose trick. At someone elses house, which is where they climbed in and began to refuse to come out. Many hours ago. I think that the hose mostly helps keep them cool and dislodges little moist snacks for them. hose failed. My new hope is that if they all continue to eat at this rate, they will be finished before the houseguests arrive. The very urban houseguests. Oh, god - I know it's funny. It's appalling, and funny, and completely entirely representative of life with dogs.

Kristen R. - 01:37pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
I'm so glad I read this thread, dogless as I am. Dogs in elk. Dogs in elk.

Anne V - 01:41pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
It's like that childrens book out there - dogs in elk, dogs on elk, dogs around elk, dogs outside elk. And there is some elk inside of, as well as on, each dog at this point.

Elizabeth K - 01:57pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Anne, aren't you in Arizona or Nevada? There are elk there? I'm so confused! We definately need to see pics of Gus Pong and Jake in the elk carcass.

Anne V - 02:03pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
I am in New Mexico, but there are elk in both arizona and nevada, yes. There are elk all over the da*n place. They don't look out very often. If you stand the ribcage on end they scramble to the top and look out, all red. Otherwise, you kinda have to get in there a little bit yourself to really see them. So I think there will not be pictures.

CoseyMo - 02:06pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
"all red;" I'm not sure the deeper horror of all this was fully borne in upon me till I saw that little phrase.

Anne V - 02:10pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Well, you know, the Basenji (that would be Jake) is a desert dog, naturally, and infamous for it's aversion to water. And then, Gus Pong (who is coming to us, live, unamplified and with a terrific reverb which is making me a little dizzy) really doesn't mind water, but hates to be cold. Or soapy. And both of them can really run. Sprints of up to 35 mph have been clocked. So. If ever they come out, catching them and returning them to a condition where they can be considered house pets is not going to be, shall we say, pleasant.

CoseyMo - 02:15pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
What if you stand the ribcage on end, wait for them to look out, grab them when they do and pull?

Anne V - 02:18pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
They wedge their toes between the ribs. And scream. We tried that before we brought the elk home from the mountain with dogs inside. Jake nearly took my friends arm off. He's already short a toe, so he cherishes the 15 that remain.

Linda Hewitt - 02:30pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Have you thought about calling your friendly vet and paying him to come pick up the dogs, elk and letting the dogs stay at the vets overnight. If anyone would know what to do, it would be your vet. It might cost some money, but it would solve the immediate crisis. Keep us posted.

ChristiPeters - 02:37pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Yikes! My sympathy! When I lived in New Mexico, my best friend's dog (the escape artist) was continually bringing home road kill. When there was no road kill convenient, he would visit the neighbor's house. Said neighbor slaughtered his own beef. The dog found all kinds of impossibly gross toys in the neighbor's trash pit. I have always had medium to large dogs. The smallest dog I ever had was a mutt from the SPCA who matured out at just above knee high and about 55 pounds. Our current dog (daughter's choice) is a Pomeranian. A very small Pomeranian. She's 8 months old now and not quite 4 pounds. I'm afraid I'll break her.

Lori Shiraishi - 02:38pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Bet you could fit a whole lot of Pomeranians in that there elk carcass! Anne - my condolences on what must be an unbelievable situation!

Anne V - 02:44pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
I did call my vet. He laughed until he was gagging and breathless. He says a lot of things, which can be summed as *what did you expect?* and *no, there is no such thing as too much elk meat for a dog.* He is planning to stop over and take a look on his way home. Thanks, Lori. I am almost surrendered to the absurdity of it.

Lori Shiraishi - 02:49pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
"He is planning to stop over and take a look on his way home." So he can fall down laughing in person?

Anne V - 02:50pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
Basically, yeah. That would be about it.

AmyC - 02:56pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
"No, there is no such thing as too much elk meat for a dog." Oh, sweet lo*d, Anne. You have my deepest sympathies in this, perhaps the most peculiar of the Gus Pong Adventures. You are truly a woman of superhuman patience. wait -- you carried the carcass down from the mountains with the dogs inside?

Anne V - 02:59pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
The carcass down from the mountains with the dogs inside? no, well, sort of. My part in the whole thing was to get really stressed about a meeting that I had to go to, and say *yeah, ok, whatever* when it was suggested that the ribcages, since we couldn't get the dogs out of them and the dogs couldn't be left there, be brought to my house. Because, you know - I just thought they would get bored of it sooner or later. But it appears to be later, in the misty uncertain future, that they will get bored. Now, they are still interested. And very loud, one singing, one snoring.

Lori Shiraishi - 03:04pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
"And very loud, one singing, one snoring". wow. I can't even begin to imagine the acoustics involved with singing from the inside of an elk.

Anne V - 03:04pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
reverb. lots and lots of reverb.

Anne V - 03:15pm Sep 9, 1999 PDT
I'll tell you the thing that is causing me to lose it again and again, and then I have to go back outside and stay there for a while. After the meeting, I said to my (extraordinary) boss, "look, I've gotta go home for the rest of the day, I think. Jake and Gus Pong are inside some elk ribcages, and my dad is coming tonight, so I've got to get them out somehow." And he said, pale and huge-eyed, "Annie, how did you explain the elk to the clients?" The poor, poor man thought I had the carcasses brought to work with me. For some reason, I find this deeply funny.

(weekend pause)

Anne V - 08:37am Sep 13, 1999 PDT
So what we did was put the ribcages (containing dogs) on tarps and drag them around to the side yard, where I figured they would at least be harder to see, and then opened my bedroom window so that the dogs could let me know when they were ready to be plunged into a de-elking solution and let in the house. Then I went to the airport.

Came home, no visible elk, no visible dogs. Peeked around the shrubs, and there they were, still in the elk. By this time, they had gnawed out some little portholes between some of the ribs, and you got the occasional very frightening glimpse of something moving around in there if you watched long enough.

After a lot of agonizing, I went to bed. I closed the back door, made sure my window was open, talked to the dogs out of it until I as sure they knew it was open, and then I fell asleep.

Sometimes, sleep is a mistake, no matter how tired you are.

And especially if you are very very tired, and some of your dogs are outside, inside some elks. Because when you are that tired, you sleep through bumping kind of noises, or you kind of think that it's just the house guests.

It wasn't the house guests.

It was my dogs, having an attack of teamwork unprecedented in our domestic history. When I finally woke all the way up, it was to a horrible vision. Somehow, 3 dogs with a combined weight of about 90 pounds, managed to hoist one of the ribcages (the meatier one, of course) up 3 feet to rest on top of the swamp cooler outside the window, and push out the screen.

What woke me was Gus Pong, howling in frustration from inside the ribcage, very close to my head, combined with feverish little grunts from Jake, who was standing on the nightstand, bracing himself against the curtains with remarkably bloody little feet. Here are some things I have learned, this Rosh Hashanah weekend:
1. almond milk removes elk blood from curtains and pillowcases,
2. We can all exercise superhuman strength when it comes to getting elk carcasses out of our yard,
3. The sight of elk ribcages hurtling over the fence really frightens the nice deputy sheriff who lives across the street, and
4. the dogs can pop the screens out of the windows, without damaging them, from either side.

Anne V - 09:58am Sep 13, 1999 PDT
What I am is really grateful that they didn't actually get the damn thing in the window, which is clearly the direction they were going in. And that the nice deputy didn't arrest me for terrifying her with elk parts before dawn.

AmyC - 09:59am Sep 13, 1999 PDT
Imagine waking up with a gnawed elk carcass in your bed, like a real-life "Godfather" with an all-dog cast.

Anne V - 10:01am Sep 13, 1999 PDT
There is not enough almond milk in the world to solve an event of that kind.
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