Saturday, April 12, 2003

Cliff and Jeff K.

Here

Crap. So funny. The third and the fifth ones are the best. Jeebus, I tinkled.
Car moddin' @ it's best

Check this site out. This is the sweetest car mod ever. It almost seems worth madding a car like this just for the humor value. It starts off slow and serious, but gets better as it goes.
Sweet, Sweet sentra.

Juicy Burger, Juicy Fries.
Sweet Sweet Crime... Mmmmmm, Crime..

Johnny that is a brilliant observation. You may be right. I always thought Reggie Miller was part Ferengi. I guess he is ot quite as far along in the evolutionary progression as Cassell. Jon that sucks balls about the sciatic nerve. disorders in the nervous system are so frustrating.

In other news my car has been assulted yet again. Elric'n'stein, I feel your vein, pain... I mean pain. This time by some person that thought my backpack was a must have item. I always make a point of putting my bag in the trunk if I leave it in the car. Well I was in a descent area during the day time with lots of people milling about. Some jerk broke out the RR window of the car for my bag consisting of my jacket, my check books, two of my CC bills, my calulator and other misc. items. So suck for me. No more cold weather jacket, backpack, I had to close my bank accounts and my credit cards, and I am out the 375 dollars it took to replace the window. Add in the fact that I had purchase new checks for my accts, and it comes to a smooth 400 dollars. Goodbye refund check. To top it all off, It rained like mad while I was dropping my car off at the shop and I got soaked while taking public tranny around to take care of my accounts.

This brings the toll up to $8000 for the accident (Paid for by the insurance co. sans $500), $375 for the window, $4000 for the transmission (Paid for by Honda, although they shouldn't have), $25 for a new Honda Emblem that was ganked, all since Nov 1st. None of this includes routine maintenance.

Chopper Suck Mufflers.
Major suxors

Regrettably, yeah me too, I've always had these problems with lugging around this 10 lbs nutsacks and 14 inch cock. Tends to drag on the floor alot and gives me all sorts of back spasms when erect. The verticle force is just too powerful, sorta recoils like an AK-47. Go to the Doctor Oetersen. As for intelligent beings of light, evolution dictates that we become bald, bubbly eyed, cone shaped aliens first. So techically Sam Cassell in the NBA is ahead of the race there. Betcha he still gets a lot of ass.

J.
no shit bro, no shit...

That's a bummer about your body pains. Man, i had no idea! Also, you can't drink COFFEE? Hell no. I couldn't hang with that. Dude, hang in there and if the pain persists, maybe you outta see the doctor! Seriuously!

this really sux0rs

My fucking ass/nut has been aching all day, so I'm going around really irritable. Nothing seems to help, medication/stretching/bath salts. I've always felt like my body was against me. (Hair loss at 17, anyone??) The sooner I can turn into an intelligent being of light, the better. I hope Rudy will help me achieve this goal.
live from the sciatic nerve

Just because I haven't yet done physical therapy for all of my limbs yet, now I'm having problem with the sciatic nerve in my left side. It's basically a back problem, but I feel the pain in my left butt cheek, left nut, inner left thigh, down to the knee. You can imagine that this makes me a jolly man, especially considering that it hurts worst when I'm sitting down, and I'm always sitting down.

law of the west

Oh man, that game was great. Somethingawful is a mixed bag, but their hentai reviews are always good. Speaking of which (sorta)... have any of you guys seen the anime, Ninja Scroll? Enron, that's not the one you have, is it? White Wolf told me to watch it (in the Exalted rulebook) so I rented it like a good goth, but there's nudity and stuff in it! Oh no! It's pretty cool though. Lots of people getting chopped in half, having their limbs ripped off by a giant who then drinks the blood, etc.. Next up: Jackie Chan's Legend of Drunken Master. I expect comparable gore.

sekrit projekt

Sure, I'm in on that action. Maybe I can write an ode to (sekrit topic) lost, since I cannot (consume) (sekrit topic) anymore. Damn you, dyspepsia!

Friday, April 11, 2003

oh my god, chuckles.

Don't know if you've guy have ever visited DrudgeReport-It's basically a "news blog" but the goon who does it also occasionally "writes" his own news-stories. He writes "catchy" headlines and whatever- guess he gets tons of hits. ANYWAYS, check out Humor Is Dead for thier take on Drudge's site... stupid Drudge Report uses that little siren-gif all the time- pretty funny.

Old Games
I've never played that game, but funny review! God, there were some HORRIBLE games back then! Jesus, some of the shit they put out was SO bad. One game I was really bummed/confused about was E.T.- I bet if I downloaded it right now, i still wouldn't be able to figure it out!

That joystick Oon almost bough sounds pretty cool. You could totally buy on ebay the real-deal and like a million games for a comparable price- plus, you'd probably get REAL sick of it anyways. BUt, you gotta admit it sounds like a pretty sweet product.

Something Awful reviews Law of the West!!!!

Here

Best quote: There's a trade imbalance in the video game industry between the US and Japan, but not in the way you'd expect. While they sent us Super Mario, Final Fantasy 7, and Schoolgirl Mangler 12, all they got in return was two nuclear bombs and LAW OF THE WEST (caps added for emphasis).

It's funny if you have played Law of the West. I'm guessing the more outspoken of you will have not....

Unrelated, yet sidesplittingly funny quotes:

"Rather than having a single plot, Water Closet actually features five slightly interconnected plots about five different girls. To view each plot in its entirety you would have to play through the game a minimum of ten times. That's like someone saying to me "I will give you this sack full of rats, but only if you let me kick you in the groin ten times."
Do yourself a favor

And shut-the-hell up! j/k (saw that joke on Letterman awhile ago.)

Elrick: One of the best people to read about Zen is Alan Watts. If you go to the library, he's got a ton of books on zen (and other religions) and monday nights at 11pm on 90.7 fm they play an hour of one of his talks- next time I see u i can give u a copy of some of his mp3s. He was awesome- and he really explains the principles of zen, tao, buddism, whatever. cluck here.

I Vote We Boycott Blogger Until Michaelanderson Blogs

Just kidding, cause we all know that will never happen... but anyway, I am doing a little research on our "secret project: book" and am reading The Tau of Pooh, The Te of Piglet, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Enlightening. Not sure how it will apply to the Secret Project, but it will. We just need to get together and come up with some ideas, then the ball will be rolling. Oh wait, I remember how well the last "meeting of the creative minds for fun and profit" went at my house. So maybe this project is doomed from the beginning. Hopefully, for the sake of the good of the project, it goes better than the first one.

Everything Zen. Everything.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Google sucks

Hey, if you type in your Home telephone number, your address and name and all your information pops up. Kinda freaky shit. Although granted you'll have to know the person's telephone number first, but still.

jael
New Get Your War On
Here.

"Ugh, I hate finding cluster bombs in my cake! They get stuck in my fillings." heh...

Moobies that I've seen lately:

Monty Python Live at Hollywood Bowl - Pretty funny! I've never been the biggest Python fan, but I appreciate their shit. Good show.
The Substitue 4: Failure Is Not an Option - I've seen it like TWICE on cable this month. YIKES. Pretty good otherwise.
Taboo - Crazy samurai love-fest set in the late 1800's. It was good I guess- I really didn't understand it though.
The Breed - Vampire's "come out of the closest" in a near-future america, and shit like that. It actually looked pretty good but the acting 'n shit was pretty spotty.
Legally Blond - Another flick I've seen on cable 2.5 times. There's something appealing about that chick *kinda* - wierd story, I overheard these 2 cheeseball "x-treme hollywood kids" types talking in line at Ralphs awhile back and they were all "Um, like yeah... I totally saw ryan philippe and reese witherspoon totally doing tons of coke at an after-hours last weekend!" I have no reason not to believe it.

someone else talk now.

Tuesday, April 08, 2003

This Sunday

... is a world-wide anti-war protest. If you guys are against this war, you should come out to it. It'll be fun! Like war! It's gonna be at Hollywood/Vine and the march will go down to Hollywood/La Brea. There's a Metro RedLine exit at Hollywood/Vine, so u could get there fairly easily by taking a metro line from the southbay. DO IT! Teh Fly-er
Keep it on the Q T ???

What the fuck does that mean anyways? I think its from like the 50's or something- WFT!?! Anyways, yeah- we should do it. In *not really related* news, by buddy Dorian is self-publishing 2 books right now. Pretty cool! But, we'll just use creepy "future-president" money, or whatever their gang of rich dudes is called.

Now, since I've mentioned Scientology in a previous post, we've probably been red-flagged by the local SEAORG, so guess we should talk about our book in person only, lest they beat-us to the punch. :)

Wartime ABCs

Kewl

BTW, kudos on both teh D&D quote from Something Awful and the script from that episode of Space Ghost. I laughed almost as hard reading it as watching it.

Okay, so Rudy and I make 2. Anyone else? BA English Jon or BA English Ryan? I know at least I need some help with the whole writing aspect of it. I'm all about the moving and the shaking, the money, the ideas, the parties, I need someone to do the shit work for my enterprise. And Rudy can get the cases of "whippers" when we have a late night session at the book writing studio.

We need to brainstorm. And to write a book. And drink a lot of coffee for inspiration. We can make the process of writing our book like Fear and Loathing, only with legal drugs. And our theme song for the book can either be the Maxwell House Percolation Song, or Mr. Coffee by Lagwagon. And we can get more information from Enron about the Coffee Enema story and the theory behind it.

Everything Zen, dude. Everything.
Coffee for Dummys

And on the inside of the book we can have a little mirror! Heh.

No, seriously though, you can count me in. I've been reading a lot about Zen Buddihsm right now, so maybe I can drop a few *floaters* for you guys.

The only bummer might be, if it really took off, someone would have to be the *face* for the book, and go to bookstores or events n shit like that- FUCK THAT. We'll make Mike do it (that sexay brit-accent would TOTALLY help! Let's do it!)
Zen of Coffee

We should write a book about coffee. Seriously. Sitting in this office, listening to all this self-help crap there is a huge market for it, and if we make it both fun and insightful, we can sell it to conscious one and make a million dollars each.

I've been drinking a lot recently and thinking about Jon's statement that "no cup is ever the same" and "each cup is an experience". I'm sure there are lessons to be learned from coffee itself, the act of drinking coffee, the social, spiritual and mental makup of coffee drinkers. Even Enron and his hatred for coffee (steeped dirt) can fit in to the Zen of coffee.

I'm not talking a huge coffee table book, but something small. If bestsellers can be called Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and The Zen of Pooh, there can be The Zen of Coffee... unless its been done, Rudy? Check it out.
I used too plays Dungons and Dargons until I saw "Mazes and Monstars" with Tom Hancks and tehn I stopped becuase hey, I DONT WANT TO BE STABBED IN MY HEAD BY AN ELF WITH A SWORD OF +5!!! -JEFF K. from Something Awful
Big Sucker, I Am

I am SUCH a gump.
I'm listening to this radio show right now called "Don't Touch That Dial" on KPFK, and usually it plays old radio dramas- those are totally fun to listen to sometimes. Well, tonight they have guests and they're talking about this author of pulp fiction named Ron Hubbard. Hmm- never heard of him. These people are CREAMING THEIR FUCKING JEANS over this guy. "He was an incredible human being and an adventour and a genius and yadda yadda yadda." I swear to god I hadn't put together the *connection.*
Then they talked about how every Saturday night they have actors perform different stories of his, and they get semi-big actors (last week was David Carridine from Kung-Fu) and all this only cost 5 bucks WITH free parking. I'm thinking, "holy shit, that sounds like a ton of fun, I'm gonna go!" And then one of them fucked up and let slip the L. "L Ron Hubbard really cares about his characters!"
My dick went SO limp.
Then I checked out some of the sites they mentioned:
www.writersofthefuture.com (Maybe Oon can enter this contest!)
www.authorservicesinc.com
Wat a bunch of fucking fuck nuts. :\

These mother-fuckers are REALLY pushing this:
"You need to come to just ONE of these, and you'll keep coming back. It's AMAZING, OHH- I JUST CAME IN MY FUCKING PANTS- ORGHAGRGHAG!"

Fuck you very much.

Monday, April 07, 2003

Fox News throughout History

Click here, from Fark.com. There's some pretty funny ones!

wow....

my resume is all over the company. Although it's my crappy one from the time I was from the bank. It doesn't reflect all the improvements I've been making, ie Taking MCSE courses, 1 1/2 years of HP Server related PM experience. So far from what I'm hearing, everyone is deterring me from trying for the PM position, (saying that there is a lot of difficulties), but I'm going to stick with the game plan. No sense getting chickened out now. I think theyre going to talk to me about some BD spot (busiess developement). Forget that.

So, on goes the negotiation. In the meantime, it's on the grindstone.

jael

Slapped down another $73.61 for miniaturin

2 electro static hemp mats (9.95 each) !! what a whoppin deal! Their pricing was all jacked. The same type of mat had 3 different prices ranging from 9.95 to 18 bucks. Uh... it didn't take me long to figure out which one to take. Also got some cool Trees which cost 40 bucks.... ouch... and some cool telephone poles. Still have to get some wood boards from Home Depot. So far, buying all this shit has cost me over 240 bucks and I haven't even played my miniatures yet. I'm thinking if it's all worth it. Probably is...

Jon! Seriously! glad you didn't buy that Awesome, mind-boggling, Joy device. Many times, I get tempted to buy, while walking down the aisles of target, walmart, soft etc, frys, and seeing all those new games. But it's all about resisting that childish temptation. It's time to give it up my friend, no matter how nalstalgic the feeling may be. I'm limiting myself to social gaming only as a sign of my progression.

Spent all Sunday at work reviewing the Microsoft material in order to give me an advantage in the Interview. That way I will know what I'm talking about and add an immediate value. I think this will increase my chances of getting the job. I'm prepared for war.

Jael


Sunday, April 06, 2003

$19.99 Well-Unspent

I faced a dire test of my Vow of Video Game Chastity today.

Whilst wandering the red-shirt’d aisles of TargĂȘt, I came across what looked like an old-school Atari joystick packaged in plastic. Noticing an As-Seen-On-TV logo, I investigated further. Turns out this joystick actually plugs into your TV via AV cables and has 10 old-skool 2600 games built into a chip in its base. All you need is the joystick, your TV, and some AA batteries. Twenty bones. Friggin’ awesome. It had, um, let’s see. Asteroids, Missile Command, Centipede, Adventure (which I always wanted to play, and still sort of do), er, something called Gravitar, Atari Circus (?), and some others I can’t remember. If it’d had Pitfall, I would have gone for it. As it was, I picked it up and returned it twice before finally walking away. Phew.

The Tailor of Panama

This was a pretty cool flick! I mean, it’s no The Tuxedo or A Gnome Gnamed Gnorm or Leprechaun n’ Tha Hood, or whatever Ja-El and Bobby have been watching lately. But if you like kind of slower-paced “spy” movies (ie, not like James Bond) this is a good one... it’s basically a kind of dramatic comedy, or “dramedy” (like Frank’s Place). What I’m saying is, this movie is pretty funny in addition to the serious elements, which surprised me. I haven’t seen too many thrillers that try to be funny without being parodies. Anyway... Pierce Brosnan plays a sort of low-key parody on Bond, in that he’s a womanizing MI6 agent, but he’s a total sleazebag and a bit of a doofus. All the characters are really well-developed, the end is very clever, and all in all it was one of the better two hours I’ve spent movie-viewing lately. It was really just a very unique movie.

Oh, the tailor maks a couple of suits, but the whole thing isn’t about that, if that changes your opinion.
Hey, I like sushi too! After you take your class, can you mail me some? Send along my copy of Chinatown too.

Oh, and Warhammer is now officially spelled "Wharhammer." I saw that on RPGnet and it's just a better spelling.

Yes, I sawr that and thought, "That's a great idear!" (Rides off on toy train into tunnel.)

Vicki, toth the salad!