Friday, April 18, 2003

Enron: Funny Shit... Or is it? Reversal: I like big nuts in my mouth / I've had some

hehe... Enron kudos to that article. Sure fooled me for a few minutes. would have been cool if it were true. If you look closely, that article is located in the fun and entertainment section...nice gossip column. Were going skiing tomorrow. Call me if ur interested in hopping along for the ride.

Rudy, that RS is the most biggest waste of time. Shizzit to me for actually downloading 3 clips and listening to... oh wait.. um... some guy who slowed down the player?? Speed it up and everyone sounds like Alvin! OMG! Brilliant!

Now this is a site you wanna go to www. asksnoop.com.

yeuh... in the hizzle

J.
Blogger Test From Florida

Something is jacked with Blogger right now.... yes, Florida....
George Bush: We'll chase the crime we're getting / Man, they had it

Hanging out with JP and Jon last night, I mentioned to them this crazy site I came across called Reverse Speech. These guys think that there are hidden subconcious messages that you can hear when u reverse speech. So, there's a bunch of examples from current events- its pretty wierd but pretty hilarious, and as JP said, what an enormous waste of time. Well, someone's gotta do it, and I guess these guys got lots and lots of free time on their hands. Go listen to the examples and see if YOU believe.

Sucker Media

The time-travelling stock-broker story is pretty sweet. I believed it and it seems like lots of news sources ran it (doh!) but I guess it was first published in WEEKLY WORLD NEWS! Here's the debunking on Snopes. Ha!

And then thanks for depressing me with the Dennis Miller/Jay Leno gang-bang. I think Jay Leno is a big idiot too. His monolouge is always super unfunny and in the last say couple months if I've stumbled on any part of it, full of bigotted anti-french jokes- HAHA I GET IT.

omg, its friggin 9 in the morning! *zZz*

I forgot how funny the Weekly World News could be! From their website HERE, here's their tips on surviving a terrorist attack (from an Irish specialist, nonetheless.)

*Know the signs. A large bright flash of light followed by a mushroom cloud is a likely sign of nuclear attack. Make sure your children are familiar with the "duck and cover" method that was taught to schoolkids in the 1950s. Studies have shown that the safest place to be in a nuclear attack is under a small wooden desk.

*Be observant in crowds and stay away from individuals who look or act suspicious. Keep an especially close eye on Arabic-looking men with beards, men with turbans, or men with names that have odd letter combinations like "Zxbgq."

*Have frequent practice drills with your family. The more prepared you are, the greater your odds of survival will be when the attack comes. Practice your emergency drill and know it well.

*Trust no one. Anyone can be kidnapped and replaced by terrorists, so work out secret code words known only to yourself and members of your family.

*Stock up on gas masks for yourself and your family. Although gas masks may seem intimidating at first, experts say you'll be surprised how comfortable they can be. You'll also want to buy bulletproof vests and radiation suits in various sizes to fit everyone in the family.

*Prepare a home disaster kit. It should contain food and water for three weeks, a first-aid kit, flashlight and batteries, a radio, an emergency gas generator with fuel, a sufficient supply of essential medications and an emergency stockpile of cash.

*Create a "safe room" in your home. Be very selective who you tell about your "panic room," otherwise you'll have a line of freeloaders waiting to get in. Keep it on a "need-to-know" basis.

*Customize your car. You can make your car safe from terrorists by installing bulletproof glass, and keeping a gun in the glove compartment.

((OMG, that's better than the Onion!))

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Funny Shit.. Or is it?

Check this article out. Some guy on wall street turned $800 into $350 Million on 126 high risk trades on the stock market and capitialized on every opertunity. Of course the SEC hauled his ass in for insider trading. In the course of trying to get him to talk, he spilled his explaination: that he was a time traveler from the future. That he brought stock information from the future and that is how he made such uncanny trades. Brilliant.

Hey rude I saw a transcript in a zine of Dennis Miller's comments on Jay Leno's show. His comments range from mildly humorous, to crass, to downright assanine. Check it out, I found the zine on the web here.

Botz Partz
Organised gangs of international art traffickers were behind the looting of the most important exhibits at Baghdad's national museum, experts believe.

Doh! From BBC. Beware the art-gangs! :) :(
not sure it was completely accurate

Got it from the whores'es mouthes, CNN , but who knows. They probably haven't had a chance to go in and *correct* what was said. Speaking of asshats, I don't have cable, but on the Comedy Central site you can watch little clips from their shows, and I was watching a clip of Dennis Miller on the Daily Show from like last week. Wow, that guys an asshat. This is just from memory, but he was all: "Now, of course I'm not pro-war, no one is! Its just that you gotta take care of business!" Then he made some joke about arabic names (not kidding.) That guy is 'tarded.

The PS2. I don't have one, and even though I've always wanted one its starting to feel like its too *late* to get one. Hey, the ps2 over there would be different than ours, huh? Hmm. I don't know how much it sells over there, but there's bound to be a price drop soon (who knows... maybe never.)

Just read a JG Ballard short story called War Fever that was really cool. If I say anything about it, it'll spoil it, but keep an eye out for it! :)

D'oh

War sucks balls. That was some smooth reporting. Hmmm, how does the poor boy feel? I mean, what the F%&K? Why would you ask a question like that. Jack ass!

Yeah with the cultural/historical losses that have been seen in this war, it is a wonder anything survived WWII. We did lose a lot of irreplaceable items. I still remember watching The World at War at MotorBykes place for the first time. We were over for the swim/BBQ in Santa Monica and you and Carrie (SP?) were chatting about all the lost art/arch/history during one particular seige on a building in Italy. D'oh. Carrie had a look of pain in her eyes. From what I understand a lot of history from her era of studies was lost in that seige.

Anyway I have to motor to work. Sweet, sweet work.

Yo Joe

Ah... Humanity


Good transcript Rude... not sure it was completely accurate, but hey, it gets the point across. I'm sure all the dead innocent Iraqis are glad for Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL). Never mind, though because the oil will keep flowing and soon we'll rebuild their country with their own money -- sweet, and Dick Chaney's old company will make millions on it. Sweet, file under tout de.

Yeah, I was pretty stoked about the museums and the national library going up in smoke, now all of the fantastic (and believe me, they were fantastic on the scale of King Tut's tomb) finds which were stored there will gradually reappear in wealthy investor's private collections, having lost all relevance for archaeological research - - great. And of course, those records, you know Lawrence of Arabia's private correspondence, precious manuscripts that somehow survived the Mongolian invasions, well, they are so much charcoal in George W.'s BBQ. At least the little no-arm boy will know that he's free, right?

Wow, sorry to be in such a downer mood, but I agree that the world is a bit fucked up right now. Sorry to have been gone from the Blog for so long -- believe me, it weren't my decision! In brighter news, I'm thinking of buying as PS2 -- finally -- What do you guys think? Is it time to wait for the next thing, or is that still a good investment? I need some R&R and GTA3 seems like the way to do it -- besides, it will mean that my PhD will suck even worse than it already does, so that way I'll have to come home! Ok, I've got to get to work again... doh!


Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Ugly American

This is a transcription from CNN where this newscaster, Kyra Phillips, was talking to the doctor treating that little Iraqi boy who's arms were blown off and whose family was killed by US missles.

PHILLIPS: Doctor -- what has he been saying to you, Doctor? Is he asking anything of you? Is he thanking you? Is he wanting to know about family? Tell us what this little boy has been saying to you.

AL-NAJADA: Actually, today he was in good condition after the operation and started speaking with a journalist and answering all their questions. The thing which he was -- they asking about -- the journalists, especially the broadcasting, what the message he wants to reflect from the war. He said, first of all, thank you for the attention they're giving to him, but he hopes nobody from thechildren in the war they will suffer like what he suffer.

PHILLIPS: Does he understand why...

AL-NAJADA: Kyra.

PHILLIPS: Doctor, does he understand why this war took place? Has he talked about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the meaning? Does he understand it?

AL-NAJADA: Actually, we don't discuss this issue with him because he is -- the burn cases, and the type of injury, he's in very bad psychological trauma. We would like to pass this stage and then we can discuss this issue. But we discussed this issue with his uncle, and the message we get from his family, they said they are living far away from the American troops -- from the military of Saddam of Fedayeen by five kilometers, and they don't know how they hit them by the missiles.


ooohhh... talk about humanity points. What a goddamn stupid bitch.

Doctor: Well, his FUCKING ARMS ARE BLOWN OFF, how do you THINK HE FEELS?


Hey Mike! Good to have you back! Sorry to start this blog out so negatively but we live in a REALLY FUCKING STUPID WORLD. (I was wondering what your take on the museums gettin burned and looted- pretty depressing. Troops supposedly cheering it on and encouraging it. SWEET.)


Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Wow, that really Sucked!

Ok, so I know my name is mud on the blog -- and has been for some time having read the back posts, but hey guys I'm still alive -- barely! Since I saw you all last -- or even since my last post -- my life has been a long dull miserable hell consisting of rowing practice, writing, programming analyses so that my PhD research doesn't flop, working in VBA, realising it sucks, preparing for a conference in Vienna -- getting funding for a conference in Vienna, making my paper not entirely suck for the conference in Vienna, followed by more rowing practice and a healthy helping of "Michael Anderson special nasal disease" organising the entertainments for the entire graduate community of my college, realising I'm way over budget, etc. etc. etc... I've been rushing around so much I've not even been allowed the luxury of allowing the action team web page to load properly before I have to go and search for something else -- doh! Living in isolation is really FAN-tastic - and doesn't damage your mental health or anything... So why is Hemo in Texas? Don't tell me he's moved to Texas... please no! Sorry to hear about your pains Mr. Oetersen -- if you like my Mum (the yogi) may be able to suggest some exercises to help as I know she suffers from sciatic nerve problems too. Anyway, let me know if you want me to ask. Also sorry to hear about the car Nron -- sucius maximus.
So in other news, I just heard about the museum/national library in Iraq buring down/looting story - thank God the oil production machinery was safely guarded by our troops! Who wanted to know anything about the ancient Babylonians anyway? Guess we never will now. In other fantastic news, my Aunt and Uncle's cat, a great favourite of mine, ran across the street and straight into a wall, smashing her own skull. Super. My life is great.
Initial Impressions, the second day

Okay, so marketing is not as important in Texas as it is in LA, who would ever eat at a place caled "Uncle Whiskers Catfish Buffet" in Los Angeles. No one. Maybe Mike Anderson, cause he won't Blog. Here is what lives up to what I expected:
- Lots of trucks
- flat
- hot
- cowboy hats

What I didn't expect:

- The Texans LOVE for McDonalds. There are McD's every 2 miles and they are ENORMOUS and really nice on the inside. One I passed on the freeway looked like a huge happy meal.
- Lots of copses of woods along the highway, and lots of greenery. I've been told I am seeing Texas at the right time, cause as soon as it gets any hotter, it all turns brown.
- Not as many accents as you would think.
- Porn Places, Adult Megastores, and Japanese Massage/Jaccuzzi Parlors abound.

More later, I have to work now.

Monday, April 14, 2003

Blood on the Coals

A song about a train-wreck in a coal mine. OMG. Its from that movie "A Mighty Wind." Haven't seen it yet, but it sounds funny as hell. :)

-texxan

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Have fun in Texxass!

Heard this joke: Worst thing about living in Austin is that its surrounded by Texas!
HAr.

Have fun dude!