Sucker Media
The time-travelling stock-broker story is pretty sweet. I believed it and it seems like lots of news sources ran it (doh!) but I guess it was first published in WEEKLY WORLD NEWS! Here's the debunking on Snopes. Ha!
And then thanks for depressing me with the Dennis Miller/Jay Leno gang-bang. I think Jay Leno is a big idiot too. His monolouge is always super unfunny and in the last say couple months if I've stumbled on any part of it, full of bigotted anti-french jokes- HAHA I GET IT.
omg, its friggin 9 in the morning! *zZz*
I forgot how funny the Weekly World News could be! From their website HERE, here's their tips on surviving a terrorist attack (from an Irish specialist, nonetheless.)
*Know the signs. A large bright flash of light followed by a mushroom cloud is a likely sign of nuclear attack. Make sure your children are familiar with the "duck and cover" method that was taught to schoolkids in the 1950s. Studies have shown that the safest place to be in a nuclear attack is under a small wooden desk.
*Be observant in crowds and stay away from individuals who look or act suspicious. Keep an especially close eye on Arabic-looking men with beards, men with turbans, or men with names that have odd letter combinations like "Zxbgq."
*Have frequent practice drills with your family. The more prepared you are, the greater your odds of survival will be when the attack comes. Practice your emergency drill and know it well.
*Trust no one. Anyone can be kidnapped and replaced by terrorists, so work out secret code words known only to yourself and members of your family.
*Stock up on gas masks for yourself and your family. Although gas masks may seem intimidating at first, experts say you'll be surprised how comfortable they can be. You'll also want to buy bulletproof vests and radiation suits in various sizes to fit everyone in the family.
*Prepare a home disaster kit. It should contain food and water for three weeks, a first-aid kit, flashlight and batteries, a radio, an emergency gas generator with fuel, a sufficient supply of essential medications and an emergency stockpile of cash.
*Create a "safe room" in your home. Be very selective who you tell about your "panic room," otherwise you'll have a line of freeloaders waiting to get in. Keep it on a "need-to-know" basis.
*Customize your car. You can make your car safe from terrorists by installing bulletproof glass, and keeping a gun in the glove compartment.
((OMG, that's better than the Onion!))