LOL! Those are pretty solid.
I don't see it on TV much, but I catch the vids online... wow.. The Star Wars vids are pretty hilarious.
What happened after Han escaped the space worms..
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
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Untitled
- My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
- I was in the Doctor's waiting room and this woman starts talking to me:
She says "What are you here for?"
I say "Hemorrhoids"
She says "Is that why you're sitting on that bean bag?"
I say "Look again"
- When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went to the door and opened it... and I saw birds and trees...
- "I saw Bobby Petersen from Grade school the other day, I hugged him and said how happy I was to see him, then he started to cry and I realized... Bobby would have grown up by now."
- I was in the Doctor's waiting room and this woman starts talking to me:
She says "What are you here for?"
I say "Hemorrhoids"
She says "Is that why you're sitting on that bean bag?"
I say "Look again"
- When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!"
One day when they were away, I went to the door and opened it... and I saw birds and trees...
- "I saw Bobby Petersen from Grade school the other day, I hugged him and said how happy I was to see him, then he started to cry and I realized... Bobby would have grown up by now."
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Thought this was pretty great. Sorry, I would have just linked to it, but it's in a private forum. Yes, it's a gigantic post. Sorry in advance.
=====================
So today while coming home from work on Man O'War (anyone from Lexington, KY will know the road) I witness one of those new Nissan Z's zipping back and forth between the two lanes of traffic, cutting people off, speeding up, slowing down and just all around driving like a jackass.
I'm about 4 car lengths behind this guy in my van, in the left lane.
This kid (he looked around 21 or so) is apparantly testing out the horsepower in his new car. It's a dark blue Z, shiny.. looked fresh off the lot though I didn't see the sticker in it and he had a plate.
Anyways, he keeps hitting his brakes really hard (causing traffic behind him to slow way down) and then gunning it.. I guess to test the accelleration.
Bottom line was, at the first light we came too, he exchanged some words and a middle finger with a guy in a jeep behind him. (I was still about 3 lengths behind, in the left lane.. he was in the right at this time.)
Continuing further, he keeps cutting back and forth, left to right. The two cars in front of me slow way down so this guy has plenty of room to do his tricks and not get creamed.
My turn is coming up in another 3 lights so I decide to get in the right lane. I get behind the jeep that had exchanged words with the kid.. he turned right at the next light. That makes me right behind this kid.
So along comes the next stop, and the kid decides, with about 100 feet to go, he needs to be in the left lane like NOW. So he guns it, slides right in front of the guy in the left lane.
P.S. - His music is really loud too, classic rules-the-world kid.
At this point my Ogre brain starts scheming.. mean and nasty thoughts of inflicting pain and anguish into him, etc start entering my brain.
Well I'm too old to be shouting at people anymore and since I've been diagnosed with an adrenaline drip, I've made a conscious effort to not yell, cuss and want to fight now.
So instead...... I scheme..
We come up to the next light. I'm one car behind him, in the right lane, 3 cars back from the light. He's two cars back from the light in the left lane. A maroon van of some sort is in front of him.
Our light is red, so we all stop. There's a left turning lane. The guy is diddy-bopping to his music being all big and bad, looking down at his dash messing with something.
Suddenly it came to me.
When the left turning light came on and the traffic started moving.. I honked.
Sure enough, the kid catching the traffic to his left moving forward, didn't pay attention and went..
Right into the back of the van stopped at the red light.
I heard a "WHAT THE F&*K" out of his window, our light turned green, and off I went.
People are right.
Think smarter, not harder.
=====================
So today while coming home from work on Man O'War (anyone from Lexington, KY will know the road) I witness one of those new Nissan Z's zipping back and forth between the two lanes of traffic, cutting people off, speeding up, slowing down and just all around driving like a jackass.
I'm about 4 car lengths behind this guy in my van, in the left lane.
This kid (he looked around 21 or so) is apparantly testing out the horsepower in his new car. It's a dark blue Z, shiny.. looked fresh off the lot though I didn't see the sticker in it and he had a plate.
Anyways, he keeps hitting his brakes really hard (causing traffic behind him to slow way down) and then gunning it.. I guess to test the accelleration.
Bottom line was, at the first light we came too, he exchanged some words and a middle finger with a guy in a jeep behind him. (I was still about 3 lengths behind, in the left lane.. he was in the right at this time.)
Continuing further, he keeps cutting back and forth, left to right. The two cars in front of me slow way down so this guy has plenty of room to do his tricks and not get creamed.
My turn is coming up in another 3 lights so I decide to get in the right lane. I get behind the jeep that had exchanged words with the kid.. he turned right at the next light. That makes me right behind this kid.
So along comes the next stop, and the kid decides, with about 100 feet to go, he needs to be in the left lane like NOW. So he guns it, slides right in front of the guy in the left lane.
P.S. - His music is really loud too, classic rules-the-world kid.
At this point my Ogre brain starts scheming.. mean and nasty thoughts of inflicting pain and anguish into him, etc start entering my brain.
Well I'm too old to be shouting at people anymore and since I've been diagnosed with an adrenaline drip, I've made a conscious effort to not yell, cuss and want to fight now.
So instead...... I scheme..
We come up to the next light. I'm one car behind him, in the right lane, 3 cars back from the light. He's two cars back from the light in the left lane. A maroon van of some sort is in front of him.
Our light is red, so we all stop. There's a left turning lane. The guy is diddy-bopping to his music being all big and bad, looking down at his dash messing with something.
Suddenly it came to me.
When the left turning light came on and the traffic started moving.. I honked.
Sure enough, the kid catching the traffic to his left moving forward, didn't pay attention and went..
Right into the back of the van stopped at the red light.
I heard a "WHAT THE F&*K" out of his window, our light turned green, and off I went.
People are right.
Think smarter, not harder.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Tracy Morgan is a funny dude. I gotta watch that show more often -- I saw it once and thought it was pretty hilarious.
A Sidekick is cool, I guess -- but c'mon man, the iPhones are coming out in four days! That's how you really impress the tech-savvy, bleeding edge mass consciousness that is The Action Team. $500 worth of impressment! That's a lot of impressment.
A Sidekick is cool, I guess -- but c'mon man, the iPhones are coming out in four days! That's how you really impress the tech-savvy, bleeding edge mass consciousness that is The Action Team. $500 worth of impressment! That's a lot of impressment.
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