31 year old Angst

Warning: May contain bitterness and self-loathing!
So, I'm back from an interview in Waterloo (which is about a hour west of Toronto) at a place called Wilfrid Laurier University. I thought it was great, but now I'm wondering if I'll hear good news or bad news... or indeed how I will tell the difference! Just finished a lecture at UCLA which I thought was crap. How can I have been doing this for so long and still be so bad at it? Got thrown off by student questions, which slowed down the lecture and now I'm at least a half a lecture behind. I feel that I never explain anything right or sound even remotely knowledgeable. Why am I doing this again guys? Remind me, or try to snap me out of it if you think I should be doing something else with my life. All I ever seem to do is work on this shit, and then I'm no good at it and I hardly ever have time for painting or games or seeing Aeryk and Dennis. When he dropped me off last week Aeyrk said ' see you in a couple of months.' At the time I thought it was a joke, but he knows me better than I seem to know myself. If I stopped being an academic, an archaeologist, what on earth would I do then? I don't have any skills, other than my apparently crap ones at lecturing and talking about a bunch of boring dead guys. Do you guys think I've wasted my life?

Ok this part is safe:
On a lighter note there was a game store in Waterloo which was cool. Elrock would have been in heaven - games, minis, scenery equipment, comics, paints and hockey. I took a picture and will post it later. Also the university has a bar in it called WILF's - I couldn't stop laughing to myself the entire time I was there - MILF's ha ha!

M