One time there was an ancient wise man with a sandwich in one hand, and a human head in the other. The ancient wise man's youngest daughter came up to him and said, "Why do you have this human head in one hand?"

"Because," said the man, "nourishment in one hand, wisdom in the other."

While they were talking a snake slithered out of a tree. They were in a jungle. The snake said, "I recognize that head. It belonged to a wise man." The daughter said, "Yah! A snake!"

A monkey climbed out of the tree and then Confucious climbed out of a stump. Everyone thought the monkey had a coconut in its hand, but then they realized that it was one of those round black bombs with a burning fuse. Everyone was like, "Aw fuck!" Then Confucious jumped 55 feet into the air and dodged the explosion. The jungle was on the moon!