Punch-Drunk Love

Whoa. I saw this today and whatever you think it is, that's not what it is. This was an intense, intense movie that was not at all a romantic comedy. If you thought any parts of Boogie Nights or Magnolia were nerve-wracking, then this movie will kill you. It's like those movies with all of the non-intense parts cut out. It's barely 90 minutes long, but I was so tense and uncomfortable that it seemed much longer. I liked the movie, but it was not everybody's cup of tea (Aaron, for example, should stay away). It was very funny, very original, and very emotionally involving. Adam Sandler was pretty amazing. I also have an affection for Emily Watson after having to watch The Boxer about twenty times at Panasonic back in the day, it was nice to see her working again.

I give this movie a strong B+ after one viewing, and I will probably see it again.

The Boxer wasn't too bad either actually, I still sort of like it even after repeated viewings.

My Friend Flicka

OK nothing in this movie is half as good as the Simpsons moment where they stumble across Moe reading to kids in the hospital and he's saying, "And truly she was... my friend Flicka" while wiping away tears. This movie is an early Technicolor mid-century piece of shit. You know how for some reason women in old movies all affect this bullshit half-British accent? (Ie, everybody talks a little like Carrie Fisher in Star Wars.) Well in this movie we see that this is a genetic trait because the parents in this movie are American ranchers but the son for some reason talks like a Victorian poster child. "Oh, fahtha... I doo ever so hope you'll give me a ho-as!" Back transcription of a fake British accent, but if you care that much, fuck you. The accent is strikingly like that of the prince who wants to be rescued and keeps bursting into song in "Quest for the Holy Grail." Except for in one scene the kid is talking to another kid and in that scene he has a thick cornpone accent for some reason. "I dunno, I shore hope paw is gonna get me that there horse!" Basically the plot of the story is that the kid is a stupid fucking klutz, he keeps fucking up and causing the horses to stampede, he doesn't do his schoolwork because he's a fucking moron, and then the goddamn overprotective mom cock-teases the dad into giving the kid one of the ranch's valuable horses to raise. I'm not kidding, this is really what happens. So the poor hard-working dad with the real American accent gives a horse to the kid 45 minutes into the movie and then what happens? First the horse runs into some barbed wire and gets all fucked up. Then the kid ties a bandanna around the horse's neck and everybody acts like it's a miracle. Then one of the wounds gets infected and the horse gets really sick, and the kid comes out at night and sees the horse lying in the river to cool off, and so the kid ends up falling asleep in the river--you'd think he could comfort and nurture the horse from the bank that the horse is half-lying on, but no--so the kid gets really sick. Then a mountain lion tries to kill the horse and the dad shoots the mountain lion and then the dad has a hilarious speech where he says, "But really, Flicka taught us all something. You, responsibility. Me, that sometimes there can be hope beyond hope." Then the movie ends. There's like 45 minutes of buildup to the kid getting the horse, and then about 35 minutes of the kid actually having the horse, and most of the time the horse is sick. What the fuck? If the children's book was as shitty as the film version it wouldn't be a classic, it would be burned at the stake.

Grade: F is for Flicka. This is one of the three worst movies I've seen at my lousy job, with one of the others being the Bruce Willis version of The Jackal, and I'm leaving a slot open for the third, but probably it's Pootie Tang.

On the plus side I did see four episode of NYPD Blue, season 1 today. That is actually a darn good show! With plenty of man-ass for Johnny!