Man, fuck this burrito. My home is roughly at the midpoint of two Chipotles. One of them is honestly the best ever. Their rice is great, their meat is well seasoned, they pack the tortillas efficiently. The other one sucks ass. The rice is bland at best, the chips are occasionally stale, one time my burrito grotesquely burst out of the tortilla onto the stainless steel and they just wrapped another tortilla around the whole mass, and the chicken has a garbagey smell and taste. Unfortunately, Evil Chipotle is the one near daycare so that's where I bought my burrito tonight.

Anyway been meaning to say something about how moronic my Sunday afternoon was in case any of you were upset because you spent it doing something comparatively benign like suffering a stroke or amputating your arm. I spent the entire afternoon trying (and failing) to remove one fucking bolt from the kid's bed.

I'll back up. That morning we woke to find that for the first time she'd managed to pull herself up to a standing position using the crib railing. She was staring down at us with a shit-eating grin, "fuck y'all motherfuckers, I win!" Time to drop the mattress frame down a notch or two. No problem, I thought.

WRONG! It turned out that jr0n of the past had fucked over jr0n of the present by tightening two of the bolts with such apparently Herculean strength that the alan wrench hole was totally stripped. I used pliers to pretty easily remove one, but no force my pathetic body could muster would turn the other bolt the slightest fraction of an inch. I spent an hour in a total blur pliering, hammering and trying to pry that motherfucker. I managed to do substantial aesthetic damage to the bed frame but made no progress removing the bolt. I had however managed to expose about 1/3 inch of the central section of the bolt.

I briefly tried a hand saw somebody had given me from the 99-cent store to cut down the bolt some more but abandoned it after the blade popped out twice (once flying in my direction). I was surprised it didn't work well, it seemed totally legit judging by the safety instructions.

Like any frustrated man, at this point I decided to go to Home Depot, where I bought a bolt cutter. Also a wrench, which I did not need, but I was caught up in the moment. Going home and bellowing in rage a bit I managed to cut through the little fucker. Of course this did not really solve the problem in any meaningful sense because, while the mattress frame was now technically separated from the bed frame, the individual halves of the bolt were still impossible to get out.

I know you're worried this story won't have a happy ending but it's cool, the fucking bolt shards are still happily ensconced in their homes. At least I have something to keep me entertained this week, just the normal everyday of raising a child was getting too easy, I need some extra tedious bullshit. Today I went back to Home Depot and bought a hacksaw. I am sure this will end well.