I'm 110% not kidding about this dude. Everybody is bewildered as to whose cock he sucked to get a job in our department.

Another thing this dude did happened on Tuesday. Monday night, we had sort of a margarita mixer in our quad just as a break for everyone since we've all been working long hours. Well, the next morning this dude rolls in and sees the leftover mixers, sauza, and spare bottle of rum that were left on the table.

"Ah!" he says to me. "Alcohol! I drink alcohol. This is for relaxing."

"Uh... I guess," I said.

"Which is the most relaxing?"

"Probably not that one." He was holding up a bottle of jose cuervo melon mixer (which has no alcohol in it).

A few minutes later our group meeting starts. This is our 9:30 AM meeting. Everybody on my team is crammed into my quad, with this new guy being the only person not on the team. This is the day of release and the core tester stands up and gives some instructions. He's visibly tense, giving the final orders on this last day. Suddenly there's a pouring sound. We look over...

... this dude is pouring a HUGE slug of rum into his coffee mug. I'm talking, five-second pour.

My jaw drops and I look away but my eyes make contact with my boss. We look into each others' eyes trying not to burst into hysterics. Finally, I had to look away, stare at my computer and start surfing the internet to avoid cracking up.

Yeah -- our department head was a little terrified when she heard about that one.