Immediately after reading these posts I typed "retard porn" into Google.

Now I feel ashamed.

No, I didn't find any good links either.

I've definitely been more generally productive since quitting WoW, but my mind always needs a way to slack. I've been downloading emulators lately. Been working my way through the Sega Master System classic Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap. Absolute classic. Also here is a stellar Flash video game -- Alien Hominid. Hard as a mutha, though.

I also spent a shameful amount of time playing this stupid game. It's this weird, shallow Japanese dating sim where you spend all this time wooing a girl and taking her out on dates. You increase her happiness meter by giving her boots and answering multiple-choice questions about her shopping preferences and bust size over and over again.

Anyway, one of the goals listed is "have sex with her" but given the innocuous nature of the game I figured it was just one of those things where you would see her panties or something or even a little T&A (this is Japanese after all) and then fade to black.

Nope. After taking her out on all the dates it cuts to a closeup of her bizarre anime vagina and then there's an "orgasm meter" which you press the up arrow to increase. At first I thought this meant repeatedly hit up like in Track & Field or someething but actually, it just meant hold the up arrow down for a few seconds. You see your guy's wet fingers jamming in and out for a few minutes. When the orgasm meter fills up then she spews a bunch of white liquid out of her vagina and for a few minutes you know what it is like to be Something Awful's hentai reviewer. I was bemused.

(PS How 'bout a Rico update so I can live vicariously through you? Also did you guys see Blizzard's parody of EQII's /plzza command?)