| Urine Trouble? Urine Luck!

For urinal incidents, just keep in mind the scene from the not-so-classic Jack Nicholson movie Wolf, where he's at the urinal with his corporate enemy, and he pisses all over the dude's shoes then says: "Just markin' my territory."

I've actually had a couple of notable urinal run-ins.

- I pissed next to our CEO, twice. Both times it was awesome because both times I'd drunk an unusual amount of coffee and had to piss SUPER HARD, whereas I felt like he was struggling to get started. It ruled. Fuck you, rich man!

- One time I walked into the can late at night to piss before going home and the VP of my dept was washing his hands. I said "hey" to him in passing and strode to the urinal whereupon I unleashed my man-snake and started peeing. At that point he walked up to me and started a conversation with me. I actually didn't have to go that bad so it took me an awkwardly long time to get started. It was only the first time I'd ever talked to this guy and during the course of this convo I learned he is crazy and makes no sense. Anyway after a painfully long time I eked out enough piss so I could walk away respecting myself and then this weird conversation, which I didn't even understand what he was talking about after the first ten sentences or so, went on and on as he followed me all the way to the parking lot and then we had to chat a weirdly long time at the base of the stairs.