I'm at work. I just reached into the canister of Mini-Moos for me morning coffee and pulled out the only two remaining 'moos. I gave them a hearty shake only to realize that in fact some jackass had opened the 'moos, used about half of each, then replaced them in the bin. Due to shaking them vigorously with my right hand I ended up with creamer all over my shirt and pants. Apparently I'm lactating or something. (Your joke here.)
If you're bored you could check out this perverted video of a Japanese girl licking an octopus. Highly recommended if you are a nihon-go-no-tako-phile. And a pervert!
Update:
