Wylie Thompson Hess

Thanks for the kind words everyone, it was impossible to get to an internet posting unit from the hospital, so the blaving had to wait until now! So the details of the birth are as follows:

- 30 hours of labor, which consisted of being hooked up to various machines and monitors, needles, and endless visits from doctors and nurses every 15 minutes. This mean no sleep, but lots of sitting around, and ALMOST sleeping.

- The reason for all this is because Wylie was considered a "High Risk" birth because Leslie tested one or two points high on two tests for fetal well being. One, was the triple screen, and Wylie was "high risk" for Down Syndrome, and two, was gestational diabetes, which was solved the day our diets changed to 6 meals a day, and an extra glass of water a day.

- This "high risk" bullshit equated to us driving to two different doctors office's in Beverly Hills twice a week for fetal monitoring and ultrasounds. During these all important visits, we found out that one week Wylie had one large kidney, which is a sign of Down Syndrome, so our odds immediately increased along with our stress levels. Oh yeah, did I mention that one large kidney could also mean that as he was growing, one grew faster than the other, and eventually would balance out? Well, the following week, this is what happened, and all was well but the toll from the stress remained.

- Another bonus to all these visits was that since Leslie was a gestational diabetic (remember, her blood scored in the normal range after one day of diet and drinking change) we were at risk for having a large baby. Apparently, all these ultrasounds were PROVING that Wylie was going to be at least 9.5lbs at birth and any larger could be dangerous, so they made us induce a few day before our due date. As it ended up, Wylie was 7lbs 8oz, so score another one for the doctors!

- Anyway, we had to induce, which is a crappy process, and at the end of the 30 hours of waiting and trying all sorts of things to get him to drop into position, which he never did, the doctors woke us up (as they did every 15 minutes throughout this ordeal) and said since nothing was happening, we needed a C section. Okay, when? How about in 10 minutes?

- Before we knew it, Leslie was on the table, and I was in my gowns. They had apparently started when they called me in, and I had to walk past the business end of my wife being butched on a table, which was unsettling to say the least. After Wylie was out and I cut the cord, I followed the doctors to the nursery and slipped in a pool of my wife's blood as I exited the operating room. Lovely. The reason he never engaged into position was because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Twice. So, it was fortunate we had the C, because otherwise, Leslie would have pushed and pushed, and nothing would have happened anyway, and then would have needed an emergency C later on.

- As it ends up, everything we had been stressed about over the pregnancy, and virtually EVERYTHING the doctors had us scared about for MONTHS AND MONTHS, was proven to be bullshit. It was emotionally troubling, a tremendous waste of time, and a huge drain on the coffers. In the end, when he scored a perfect 10 on the Apgar test, and the pediatritian said there were no signs of Down Syndrome, the relief was immense! We could not be happier to end this terrible pregnancy ordeal with a wonderful little man.

It has been nothing less than exciting so far. From the highest screams of agony as I change his diaper, to the highest screams of agony as I change his clothes, I am amazed that I am holding in my hands a little bundle of mine and Leslie's gene pools made whole. Weird.

I can't wait for you guys to all meet him! Except for Ryan. That guy was the first guy to hold him, so he doesn't count. Screw that guy.

Anyway, all is well with the Hess clan, those who are local, feel free to come by and say hi!

(pictures to follow soon)