But the guy I really wanna hear is our man setting up the auxiliary branch in the Phillipines, Ja-El. What's up over there man? Dude the East Bay scene has really changed since you were here. Like right after you left, your home city decided they wanted to way sex the place up so they started putting newer, sexier mottos in the BART stations and stuff, I included a picture.
Anyway the image revamp pretty much worked because like a month ago all these hot chicks moved in, seriously a fuckin ton. They're doe-eyed young women with high, firm breasts and soft, willing lips. They're crazy for cock and they're more than willing to share their men, and themselves, with their lady friends.
But dude... not all is well in Fremont. These chicks go crazy with the sex and are draining the life out of any man with a groin who goes nearby. Enron and I stay the fuck out of there and when we do have to go we wear iron magnetic codpieces and stick close to each other. When we get in a jam we reverse the polarities and that causes us to fly like 50' apart. But anyway it's a last-resort thing for when we get in a fuckin' mess.
Anyway the reason I mention all this is because seriously the word on the street is that only virile, twentysomething (I emphasize 20something because these chicks will eat younger guys alive) men with mastery of Taiwanese sex tricks can take back Fremont. Some dudes tried Mainland China tricks but dude... they got so fucked up. We need you man, Fremont needs you bad.