A Relaxing Cup of Iced Coffee

Scene I: Jon’s Parents’ Basement
JON: Ah! Work’s over. I’ve got my new D&D book, I’ve got my new Chessex dice... I think I’ll get myself an iced coffee and read!

Scene II: Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Downtown Manhattan Beach
(JON goes to the register. There is a tall, skinny, 40ish, balding man ahead of him, past the register, holding a cup of coffee.)
FEMALE CASHIER [looking at JON]: Can I help you?
(JON waits about ten seconds while looking expectantly at the MAN, who does nothing.)
JON: Um, hi. Can I please have a regular iced co...
MAN: You know I was ahead of you, right?
JON: Oh, I’m sorry, go ahead.
MAN: I’m, uh, ahead of you and you just think you can go first, huh?
JON: Er, no, she came up and said can I help you and you didn’t do anything, so I figured...
MAN: Oh, you figured you’d just go?
JON: Whoa. Dude... you’re... you’re already holding a cup of coffee, so I thought that...
MAN: Yeah, that’s real cool.
JON: Dude. (Fight or flight reflex taking over, staring directly up at MAN.) There’s no reason to act like a... you’re really acting like a jerk for absolutely no reason. I already apologized. Go ahead!
MAN: Jesus Christ. (To CASHIER.) I’m sorry, I just hate dealing with assholes.
JON: Oh, yeah? That’s too bad, since you have to live with your....
MAN: Yeah. Move out!
JON: Huh?
MAN: You’re a real asshole.
JON: Yeah, whatever. We can be assholes together.
MAN: You...
JON: Let go of it.
MAN: You...
JON: Drop it.
MAN: (Handing a few dollars to CASHIER.) Can I have some change?
(She wordlessly gives him change. ASSHOLE leaves.)
JON: Jesus.
CASHIER: Yeah, I don’t know what that guy’s deal was.
GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A YOUNG TOM ARNOLD: Guy was a little hostile, eh?
JON: Yeah, I....
GUY: That’s why I stay in Hermosa!

So, yeah, that kinda fucked up the evening. Reading and drinking coffee and then walking down to the pier turned out to not be as fun as it could have been. In fact it was rather distracting because I constantly imagined him coming up to me again, and then me grabbing him by the back of his head and smashing him into the guardrails on the pier or smashing his face through the plate glass windows of Trendy Sunglasses.

He’s probably talking to his friends right now: “So this little prick cuts ahead of me in line, and then he tries to apologize! Can you fucking believe it?”

Happy ending
(On the way back, JON walks by Henessey’s and notices that all the waitresses are wearing SCHOOLGIRL OUTFITS.)
JON: Whoo-ey!

Fin