I Have Returned to a House of Shit That Flows Like a Fountain

After the worst trip ever I return home. Within 5 minutes of getting home, I jump in the shower to wash the plane off of me, and I tinkle. Not 3 minutes after I hop in the shower (post tinkle and flushing of the toilet) Leslie knocks on the door and yells for me to turn the water off. I hop out, come down stairs and the downstairs toilet, shower and washer/dryer drain pipe are shooting water out of them. There were some poos coming out of the toilet that I'm sure Jon laid at our last D&D session, which was a LONG TIME AGO! Wonderful. I am full of shampoo, and now my feet are covered in questionable water from the completely flooded bathroom, I call roto rooter, they deduce that the main is blocked running to the sewer. They need to dig into my wall to find the main cap, run the snake, charge me 300 bucks, and today I got to pull the carpet and pad out of the bathroom, throw it out the window, and disinfect the bathroom. I got the fans blowing to dry it all out, and have now realized that as this house ages even further (it was build in ' 61) things will probably get worse. So we are looking into fixing the problems that are here and putting it on the market as is, and moving. Where, I have no idea, but I don't want to live in what will probably be future Money Pit, without the whimsy of Tom Hanks. So that is my story. I don't even want to get into the crap I did on the trip, it's just too soon, I need some time to heal.