I like your elaborate plan and will sign on! Wait, is enr0n 40 already? Jesus!
Remember when Over 40 was the name of a magazine filled with old-seeming women? Now it's your peer group. The future is here and it's: flapping ball sacs.
(I was thinking the paragraph above could be the caption on some sort of humorous Facebook image? Which would get plenty of likes? I'm not really a visual design guy, though.)
I was in Hawaii for a few days! It was awesome. I ate a lot of plate lunches. Unfortunately, I also got a pretty bad cold. But loco moco has a price! And that price is: flapping ball sacs.
(That one could work too, over a picture of a luau, a spam musubi, or something like that.)