| Warhammer (warning, long)

I like the new edition of Warhammer, it's a little crazy to explain up front because there are so many bits and gubbins, but once you get going it's pretty fun and not really that complicated.

As usual for a new system, we spent about two hours making characters. The guys ended up with a dwarven Thug, recently fired from the nearby mines, perhaps for his confusing variety of accents, a human Thief with no weapons training whatsoever, and a wood elf Wardancer: deadly in combat, deadlier on the dance floor.

Amazingly everybody also picked a name for their character right away! Possibly a record. You also get to pick a party card which helps define your group's identity and is used for tracking tension within the party and gives some unique abilities. On the move and full of amoral thugs, the party chose Swords for Hire.

The adventure started as the group went down to the lake for a spot o' fishin'. Instead they almost lost their lunches as they found a grotesquely obese man floating in the lake. Turning him over they realized he was a mutant who had swallowed another man. The swallowed man had somehow begun fighting his way out near the end -- his knife was sticking out of the mutant's belly, from the inside.

Recognizing the mutant as one of three creepy brothers who live in a shack out in the woods, the party decided the next step was to rob the victim's house. Unfortunately there were people around so the group instead went to the brothers' shack. Corey Hart (the Thief) snuck up for some reconnaissance but was detected by one of the brothers, a grotesquely mutated fellow similar to the man in the lake.

Belying his lack of ballistic skill, Corey fired a bow into the mutant's open mouth, which lodged through his cheek into the window sill, effectively pinning him in place for several seconds. An unlikely shot that had the effect of swinging the battle in the PC's favor right away, as the mutant had some fearsome powers none of which he was able to use in any way. Stoneteeth (the dwarf) and Leik (the wardancer - sp?) busted into the shack where they promptly disemboweled the two cultists. Then Corey took one of the brothers' nice longbow as a reward. For dessert, they burned down the shack.

Heading back to town they decided to check out the victim's hovel again for "clues." However they came across the sheriff and decided to start retroactively "filing the paperwork," telling the sheriff that they'd found a body down at the lake but eliding the part about killing the other two brothers. On the trip the sheriff noticed the longbow slung on Corey's back, resulting in a ludicrous (but successful) set of lies and the players asking themselves the question: "Why do we ALWAYS lie?"

After leading the apparently not-so-bright sheriff to the flaming shack and playing dumb once again, the party retired to a night of drinks at the local inn, easing some of the tensions of the day and readying for the next day's job... something about a late coach from Marienburg....