I played through Metal Gear Solid 2 again. I don't know what's wrong with me or why I like to play games twice or why I can't get an erection. I just wanted to see how fast I could get through the game once I actually knew everything. I imagined that Eric, Aaron, Johnny, and even Rudy and Ryan and Mike were standing behind me chanting, "Go Jon, you have to defeat Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance one more time, for us, your pals. Then everything will be all right." So I skipped every cutscene and it felt soooo right. I clocked in at just under 6 hours. I rule!

Sorry Sarge but I need you around for these cutscenes man. It's so hard to grow up, so hard to struggle through. Every moment Solid Snake is telling me about the nature of digital technology I think "man this would be better if I were sitting on the blue couch in my apartment and Betty was walking on me with her shit-covered feet and Aaron was sitting by my side saying 'Yee-ha, Jester's dead!'"