| Transformers = Meh x16

Okay. I know I sound like an elitist, and a snob, and the enemy o fun, and all that, but I feel dumber having sat through 2/3 of Transformers. Leslie and I left when all the robots and awesome S7 men and 'high school' kids were leaving the dam, so I have no idea if it all worked out for humanity in the end or not. I just couldn't handle it.

I know, I'm lame.

I totally went into it with no hope that it would be anything great, and it still killed me.

IMHO, there was no story, no character development, all fast cuts, no substance, product placement up the ying yang, chrome, glitz, overly tanned and ridiculous 'high school' girls and boys, bad dialogue, and silly machine gun army man vs. robot combat scenes.

OMG! I forgot about the hot hacker girl from Australia and the fat, poor black guy hacker! You would never think either of them were stereotypically hackers, but lo and behold! The Transformers movie has made me question my preconceived notions as to what is possible by hot Australians and poor black kids! Oh yeah, the black hacker also yelled at his grandmother and called her a 'bitch'.

OMGOMG! How about when that Autobot uncorked his 'lubricant' holder and emptied his lubrican all over John Turturo! BWAHAHAHAHAH! It was like the robot was peeing, man!

Bernie Mac was kinda funny. His laugh was anyway, not when he called his deaf grandma a 'bitch'. I guess it was kind of a theme for black characters to call their grandmothers bitches.

So, there you have it. It would have been a fun half hour movie, maybe 45 minutes, but beyond that I was actually uncomfortable sitting and watching it. I just kept thinking what an impact the money spent on this movie could have on medical research, world hunger, education, etc.

I know. I'm Eric. What kind of an opinion would you expect me to have about a summer blockbuster that was targeted at 13 year old boys.