Moto-Byke, What up Fucko’!

Just before I cut my Metal hair I kept feeling this weird sensation in my rectum while I was showering one morning. After a few minutes I found the culprit: A foot and a half long hair almost completely in my asshole. Just a few inches were dangling out. It was the grossest sensation ever pulling it out. That, and Ben “One Eyed Jack” Winter were major factors in deciding to chopping my hair off.

Elrock: I would have thought that the time you hated me the most would have been the time I told you that your mom was on the phone and handed it to you. Allison was on the phone. You were absolutely livid with me. Or maybe the time I spilled toothpaste down the side of your Explorer during a road trip and let it dry. Besides I don’t think I made the rule about the fine coffee/gummy worms. I seem to recollect a certain Jonathan pushing that one. If you are going to hate me for as rule, hate me for the "Really Fucking Hot" setting while in 95 San DIego weather plus hot Cokes. Or the Time I gave you a "Glass Bottom Boat" while you were sleeping. Oh wait I dont think you ever knew about that one. Oh well.

Top I hate you at the moments, but damn hilarious in retrospect:

Elrock: Phone rings at Dorchester apartment. Eric blurts out, “Tell her I am at Lacrosse practice.” I retort, “She’ll never believe that. It’s 11:30pm”. Me, “Ill look like an ass.” Elrock, “Well then you come up with something better.” Me, under my breath, “Fuck this…” Next day, same Bat Time, same Bat channel. Phone rings. “Tell her I am at Lacrosse.” Me, “Grrrr…” Or maybe the time @ El Conq… Knock on the door, just after I came in the room. I look in the key hole and the turn to Elrock and mouth: ‘Suzie’. Eric is lying on the bed by the swing side of the door, shaking his head “NO” so vigorously that I hear ball bearings ricocheting off of cogs. Well she saw me enter so I had to open the door. I position myself in such a manner as to hide him from her view and proceed to bold face lie to her that I have no idea where Eric is. THEN, several days later she approaches me and asks, “Does Eric not like me?” and then, “Is Eric Gay?” Never did I ever want to say yes more than right there.

Jon, Drunk: Entering my room shitfaced with two open beers @ 12midnight in the middle of a work week. Torturing me for 30 minutes and then not leaving my room without leaving your little “present”. Said present: opening the door to the bathroom connected to both our rooms and pinning the door open while you let loose the worst garlic-beer vomit ever into the toilet for my olfactory delight. Topper: The crosswind from your room into mine was such that I was provided a continuous current of fresh scent of your gastronomical creation.

Mike + Johnny while playing Cosmic eNcounter w/ Carrie and Aimey in the game: Mike, “I am not going to let you do that Johnny, you will die.” Johnny, “Who says I am going to die? Besides I can choose for myself.” Mike, “I can choose who I want to invite into an invasion and I don’t want your help” Johnny, “You can not tell me what I can do, let me make my own decisions.” Mike, “I am not going to let you kill yourself and ruin the game.” Johnny, “I don’t need you to protect me; I know what I am doing.” Etc, etc, etc… For Ten minutes. I wanted to crawl away after about two minutes, but it just kept going and going and going. I think we cut the game off at that point. The two of you were stubborn to stratospheric levels. Classic.

Johnny @ 7am, Overcrowded Con: “Security”… JP, “Quick everyone pretend like you are playing a game.” Brilliant! What an asshole, but SWEET in retrospect.

Mike + Jon: Arguing over re-rolling a character with moderate stats for Jon’s D&D Adventure. Classic moment: Eric, Rudy, and I slipping downstairs and listening in on the intercom.

Mike+Jon again: Mike, “Silencer” Vomit in the convention trash can. Proceed with sleep and not washing out said trash. Go go gadget Aaron trashcan cleanout. One hour later while preparing for bed. Jon, “Death Groan” Puke in the same trash can. Repeat go go Gadget Aaron. Three cheers to who ever brought the oranges to mask the vomit smell on my hands that would not wash off.

Rudy: Incredible persistence to getting under Mike’s skin at so many D&D games, both in character and out of character. Particularly while sipping the beers. Yet it was at times quite entertaining. Love/hate I guess.

Rich: “This is at least a 5 dollar wrench” and “Taco, no sewer crumbs. Coke, no lettuce. Etc, etc, etc…” I hated that drive thru yet they were some classic moments in retrospect.

JP: Reading those god damn game descriptions with that ridiculous voice at a snail’s pace. “B…”, “O…”, “R…”, “S…”, “T…”, “Ughhhh…..”Boooorrrrrrsssttt!”

Ben: BBQ Chicken, Baked potatoes, and French toast in Mammoth. Can you say crispy?

I am sure there are more fine moments, but I have to go…
Byortz

PS Elrock I agree with the I hate Jon you had. The WHFRP. I wanted to play that so bad and as fate would have it, he would roll a Rat-catcher. Son of a bitch!