Whassup my Naga's?

- Ryan think's it is hilarious when I play Heather at World of Warcraft and we have to place Nagas on the board. Cause we (mostly he) had a friend at UCI that liked to talk gangster and call everyone "nigga", but then really took liberties with it, and it began to sound like "noggo", which is a little like Naga. Ryan is a racist.

- Kommandant Hesselvondorffburger appreciates the generosity shown him over the holidays by his soon to be Cryxian Overlords!

- I play Sudoku now. Do you Sudoku, too?

- I don't really play much GBA stuff anymore, but the ROM card I has was the shit. I put SO many nintendo games on it, and it would hold 3 other reasonably sized ROM's at the same time. I think currently I have NES, Bookworm, and Tactics: Ogre and Onimusha. I have the 256 card, larger cards would obviously put mine to shame, but even mine is awesome. Do it!

- I declare that my son's name shall be Wylie. We are still fiddling about with the middle name, but we think it will be Thompson. Wylie Thompson Hess. Wylie, is my grandfathers name, and my mother and great grandfather's middle names. Thompson, is my mother's maiden surname, which is an Americanization of Torssen, given to the family when they got here from Scanidinavia. Identity thieves disregard that last paragraph.

- Wylie Thompson Hess. My son. Cool. Weird.

- I think that not one of the miniatures I needed to have painted by the SF trip, will be finished. I have lost my mojo for painting Warmachine stuff, I need a shot in the ass to get re-excited and re-motivated!

- WoW has me by the balls.

Hey Eric! Do you still mess with the gba 'n roms and all that? Just recently considered gettin' one to do how you did it where u had multi-games on one card, but dont even know if its worth it these days. Can you play those gba roms on a DS? I'll look it up.

Denis...

Wow.

Moving on. My experience with afternoon LA departures to SF have pointed towards departures ~2pm-3pm being the best window. After 3pm too many of the valley goons are leaving the LA basin and start to snarl up traffic. And getting to the bay area basin after 7:30 is fine. The bay area traffic is much lighter then LA. Especially after 7pm.

I narrowly avoid a two week trial on Jury Duty today. That would have sucked.

Elzar: Have you and your lady friend come up with a name for the little 'un yet? Milo still in the cards? Maybe Batman Theride would be a good first and middle name. Maybe Cunty cunt cunt cunt the cunt cunt. Or maybe not.

D>M>

So Denis, you actually did it?

Nice.

How'd it go over?

I'm feeling better than I have been recently, but I feel worn out and my throat feels like I've been drinking razors. Still, an improvement.

Blood Bowl. Heh. I might come around to that one in, oh... fifteen years. But the board sure is pretty so hell, bring it up! And by the way. Your terrain is awesome both in its quality, and its quantity. I really hope you're planning on bringing a lot of it up!

40-Year-Old Virgin is funny.

New Years In Summation

Denis and I ushered in the New Year with a rousing game of your favorite game and mine, Blood Bowl! There are new rules which allow for a Perpetual League, meaning no matter how more experienced a team is over another, there is a new handicapping system that allows for a close game to be played between the two teams. We will never have to start another league again! Exciting for me!

The game had Denis' luck and style indelibly stamped on it, as his Elves performed flashy after flashy move, only to fail at the most critical of moments allowing for the game to slip away.

Then on New Years day, rather than watching I Love the 80's/90's in it's entirety, as we did last year on New Years Day, Ryan and I played another rousing game of Blood Bowl. This game was marked by my cobwebs having been cleared out the night before, and Ryan's just being cleared out, so I had the edge and was a bit sharper.

Which brings me to my next question/comment: Now that we are all into miniatures games again/for the first time, Jon and Enron should look into Blood Bowl! The greatest miniatures boardgame ever! I'll bring the travel kit up in 2 weeks, and you can laugh at me and crush my hopes and dreams, but it will be there... Taunting.... Lurking... Haunting your sleep, until you succumb to the Blood Bowl....

Which brings me to my next question: Mike! Have you picked up your ticket yet?

Since Denis pulled the most punk rock of all job terminations, he is free all the time now, I was thinking we should leave around 3 or 4 on thursday. Early enough to miss traffic getting out of here, and arriving late enough to miss traffic getting in, and still early enough for drunken revelry.

Thoughts?

Hope everybody had a great New Year! We hung out with Enron and frenz and ate some epic meat. Then I got sick. Just what I wanted for Christmas, a cold.

So I missed my first day at work and am shivering and downing Airborne, Sudafed, and Emer'gen-C... good times!

Oh I wanted to ask you guys something. I primed a couple of things down in the garage since it's all rainy out. But instead of drying pure black like usual, the models have odd whitish patches on it. Is that because of the humidity? Is it going to screw things up when I try to paint them?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hope I get to see you all more often this year!

Myke

Happy Acionty New Year!

Haha, looks like Propagandhi did a song sorta about that game America's Army (or at least they use it on the lyrics page, heh.)

http://www.americasarmy.ca/
Good times

From their labels website, heh:
Three visibly aging trainables, clearly in the wrong line of work and quite seriously on the verge of suicide, make a recording of their private thoughts set to music for distribution to the general public. New laments, meditations and extrapolations from people who just cannot believe they have to be here.

Damn fine job there Myke!

Bravo! No shit, I DREAMED about stealing minatures and paints last night/this morning. Think it was a mini-dream while I snoozed before work, but I swear to goodness, I had this bizarre dream. It's pretty faded from memory, but went something like this: Some kind of game-store was having a parking lot "going outta business" sale, and either I worked there or my friends worked there. And I was totally trying to figure out how to steal some paints and minis so I can paint them and play. Don't remember if the dream mentioned the game you guys are playing specifically, but I assume it was about that. I remember I stole the minis alright, but was real nervous about trying to pocket a paint set (think a set of paints was $58 dollars lol, and I was like "no way!") Fighting with myself, I couldn't remember if I had an old set of minis paint from my ultra-brief stint of buying that stupid gillion dollar space marine set. Was a fuckin' funny dream. Think before I woke I had reluctantly decided to just take home the minis and at least prime them or something. Think I chickened out from snaggin' the paint set. what the fuck!

anyways, awesome presentaion mike!

Very nicely done

I didn't read the whole thing, cuz sadly i don't know enough of the rules or figures, but the pictures said it all! It also makes me want to field an army, maybe upon my triumphant return from Elba in 6 months. (that must have taken you some time)

Johnny

Now that was impressive.

Very nice field report. I quite enjoyed the read. I also liked the narrative style. Motobyke, did you guys take photos after each turn for documentation for the graphics? That gets me fired up. Edit: It actually reminds me of the old GW White Dwarf battle reports back in the day.

I gotta do some more painting. I think I may get some in tomorrow since I have a day off. Rule!.

B. Ortz

Where Mercenaries Dare to Tread

‘Sometimes the ends justify the means,’ said High Exemplar Kreoss, ‘we can not withstand the Communist Threat posed by Khador and their vodka powered jacks any longer! What is more interesting is why Axphixious is willing to unite with us. The hellish darkness arising from the Broken Coast does not normally suffer the living to remain so for long in their presence. Many of my own Flameguard are now in his employ after our recent victory over the warwitch Deneghra. I just hope that this gamble will be worth the price we pay with our souls... may Menoth protect us!’

Celebrating the first 1000 point battle of Warmachine to be played by the Action Team. I’m submitting this extended Battle Report for your reading enjoyment. For those of you who don’t play Warmachine, then I apologise for taking over the blog with this massive display of geeky fun.

An Unholy Alliance

The Armies

Protectorate: Points 495 Model Count 20 VP 19

K = High Exemplar Kreoss
Rp = Repenter
Rv = Revenger
C = Crusader
D = Devout
F = Temple Flameguard (5+1)
D = Deliverers (5+1)
S = Deliverer Sunburst Crew

Cryx: Points: 492 Model Count 18 VP 18
A = Iron Lich, Asphyxious
Df1 = Defiler
DR = Deathripper
Df2 = Defiler
St = Stalker
S = Slayer
ST = Scrap Thralls (3)
Sc = Skarlock
M = Mechanithralls (5+1)
P = Pistol Wraith
N = Necrotech

Khador: Points 1023 Model Count 28 Victory Points 38
KT = Karchev the Terrible
S = Kommander Sorscha
Dv = Devastator
Ds = Destroyer
J = Juggernaut
M = Marauder
B = Berserker
M = Winter Guard Mortar Crew
W = Widowmakers (3+1)
FS = Iron Fang Officer and Standard (2)
IF = Iron Fang Pikemen (5+1)
K = Man-O-War Kovnik
DR = Doom Reavers (5+1)

Setup:
Using the terrain board made famous by GenCon SoCal 2005, Cryx and the Protectorate decided to take the temple side of the board because the forest and temple might offer some protection and a position from which to strike at the Vodka menace. The tall hill on the left side was also considered advantageous as a launching ground for the deliverers and Sunburst artillery. The faithful of Meningitis therefore assembled on the temple side, while the Iron Chef Ass Fixation occupied the forest area.

The Communist Threat, sporting an array of 5 heavy warjacks, fearless and nearly indestructible troopers spread evenly across the northern part of the board. Karchev the Terrible, a Juggernaught and a Marauder made for a solid left flank, whilst Sorscha, the Berserker, Devastator and Destroyer held the right side with the pikemen and Kovnik. Advance deployment of the widowmakers secured the west flank, and the Doom Reavers appeared in the centre of the sandy wash.



Turn 1
Alliance
The Iron Chef’s Scrap thralls marched forward, sacrificial lambs to the widowmaker’s fury. The rest of the Cryx army quickly scurried into the forest for cover, safe for the Pistolwraith, who was busy putting powder into his pistols. Lumbering Mechanithralls seemed ready to repulse any attack from the doom reavers, whose anti-magic abilities confounded Cryx’s attempts to damage them, whilst the Slayer and Asphyxious remained safe behind the lines.

Chanting the name of Menoth to themselves the Flameguard advanced, attempting to hold the pass between the temple ruins and the tall hill. They were supported by the Revenger and the Crusader on their right. Meanwhile the deliverers and the sunburst artillery hastened for the hill as fast as they could and the Repenter, unnoticed began a long flanking manoeuvre.



Khador
With a crash battle was joined as the Scrap thralls went up in a blaze of smoke. At the same time, Khador’s finest artillery rained down upon the Mechanithralls in front of it. Kommander Sorscha did not hesitate to use her magical energies to unleash the charge of the Devastator, which rumbled threateningly close to Menoth’s mindless, interrupting the entire plan of attack in the area. With it’s nigh impenetrable 25 armour, this behemoth was not to be moved, while the remaining troops advanced behind it.




Turn 2
Alliance
Cyrx continued to jockey for position, attempting to find the correct angle with which to apply it’s magicks against the Red foe. The forest continued to keep the valuable bone jacks safe from the widowmakers sniper shots, while the pistol wraith began a silent advance. The Iron Chef was generous with his blessing, granting extra powers to the Menoth flame guard, who felt their nails sharpen and horns grow out of their armour. Would the Great one forgive them for this blasphemy? Only time would tell. Unholy vapours arising from the ground on the western side of battlefield could not damage the heavy jacks and fearless infantry of the Khador army.

Crying the name of Menoth, the flameguard charged the Devastator, but even their combined efforts could not begin to damage this elephant’s hide. Even the help of the Revenger to their left could not help them. Reaching the top of the hill, the deliverer’s unleashed a hail of fire, which nevertheless could not damage the pikemen below them.



Khador
With a horrendous cry and crash of metal the Khadorian army unleashed its most fearsome weapons with full force. While the Devastator unexpectedly pushed the Revenger out of the way, the pikemen charged forward to attack the Flameguard, who in their eagerness to damage the Devastator had not formed their ranks and were gravely wounded. Watching their comrades fall, they nevertheless held firm. At the same time, the Destroyer, climbing a small hillock smashed the Sunburst artillery into dust with its massive gun, not allowing the unit to fire a single shot in the battle. Kovnik, revealing his mysterious axe-rifle and the Kommander herself began to pick of deliverers at their leisure. Meanwhile, the Berserker and the Doom Reavers moved into combat with the Mechanithralls, cutting through them without difficulty. One of the Doom Reavers in his enthusiasm attacked the Berserker next to him! Karchev the Terrible lived up to his name, towing heavy jacks into striking range and then unleashing them with a most horrible crashing of metal. Unfortunately for the Red Terror, Asphyxious’ bonejacks were too quick to be caught and the force of this attack was thwarted.


Turn 3
Alliance
It had been the darkest hour of the battle, but as it passed, the Alliance surged forth with its own counter-offensive. Determined to smash Karchev into the ground, Cryx applied all of its force to this end. The pistol wraith began with a volley, while the Stalker leapt forth, unleashing terrible damage, and Asphyxious, using all of his magical abilities summoned horrible parasites to inhabit the half-jack, half-warcaster which opposed him, bringing even the very fires of hell against his foe. Despite appalling wounds, Karchev refused to suffer even one system failure. Meanwhile the Mechanithralls struck back at the Berserker.

Still believing that force of numbers could overwhelm the Devastator, the Crusader charged in to lend its strength, while the Flameguard bravely battled back against the Iron Fangs. Moving through this commotion, Kreoss and his Devout ran over the hill in order to flank the jacks and attempt to attack Kommander Sorscha directly.



Khador
In what would be the turning point of the battle, suddenly the luck of the Vodka driven troops ran out. Karchov the terrible proved unable to flatten the Stalker, though he inflicted heavy damage upon it, while the Devout bodyguard leapt in front of Kreoss, protecting him from the missile fire of his foes. The Devout could not protect him from the mighty ‘Boundless charge’ of the Destroyer however, who pressed down upon the Menite Warcaster. Had Kommander Sorscha unleashed her feat at this moment, surely the battle would have been over, but this was not the will of Menoth. At the same moment, the Devastator pushed the Crusader backwards into the ruins of the temple. Perhaps it was this act of desecration which caused the change in the winds of fortune. The Flameguard was wiped out to a man, just retribution for gaining benefit from Cryxian magicks. While mortar fire continued to fall upon the unlucky Mechanithrall, the Berserker, losing interest in their slaughter turned it’s back upon them and made ready to charge the Revenger. A well placed attack brought the might jack to its knees. Meanwhile the Juggernaught slammed one of the bone thralls, throwing it clear across the forest, but in this fight the normally fragile bonejacks seemed unwilling to fall.


Turn 4
Alliance

Mounting a desperate final offensive, the Alliance pressed every possible advantage to kill the opposing casters and spill their red communist blood. The Stalker continued to damage Karchov the Terrible, and Asphyxious’s Hell fire’s and parasites finally finished the job. With a crash the mighty jack-caster fell to the ground, and his wargroup fell silent. Distracted, perhaps by this commotion, Doom Reavers fell into the loving embrace of the Slayer, while on the eastern side of the battlefield Khador was to receive another heavy blow. Fearing that he might not live to bring Menoth’s plans to fruition, the High Exemplar unleashed his feat, knocking the remaining Khadorian army to the ground, and escaping certain death. Leaping into a space surrounded by enemies he brought down the judgement of Menoth on the Kommander Sorscha. His Devout joined in the attack, as did the Revenger. The combination proved to be too great and the Kommander was slain. The deliverers unleashed fire across the field, killing another Doom Reaver and a Iron Fang, while the Crusader began to mop up the rest. With that, the remaining Khadorian survivors began to flee the field of battle. Man-o-war Kovnik stood to face his foes, considered running, and then fell once again to the ground, begging for the mercy of the Great One, and for a shot of Vodka.

Their Unholy Alliance ended, the two armies moved away from each other in peace. Victory having been achieved by both against superior odds.

--End Transmission

Yeah -- too long, and boring, with about an hour of really good scenes that are wasted in the mire.

XmasCon Battle Report

Mike and Dave Defeat came by for a game tonight and it was awesome. We played a king of the hill game which Dave pwned, followed by an epic 1000-point battle that actually didn't take that long -- about 3.5 hours. Dave fielded 1000 points of Khador and Mike and I were a team with 500 points each, me with Cryx and him with Protectorate. I'm not quite sure how such a situation would arise. For those of you who don't follow the game, this is basically the Pope teaming up with Satan to fight Stalin. I guess it could happen.

In the first few rounds things looked grim for Mike and I. I was holed up in a forest feeling useless and Mike had a big wall of warjacks and infantry coming at him. Our attacks were plinking off the big 'jacks doing almost nothing and it seemed completely hopeless. Around turn three things started coming together. I started unloading sneaky bastard tricks at Karchev, and over two turns managed to whittle him down and take him out (and his battlegroup). In turn four, Dave made a kind of a big tactical error with Sorscha where he forgot to use her feat before sending in a jack to charge Mike's caster. If he'd remembered, he had a good shot at killing or seriously weakening Mike's caster and the next couple of turns would have looked a lot different. Anyway, Mike put up a strong counteroffensive and killed Sorscha to win the game.

It was my first time fighting Khador and it was pretty interesting. You cannot take on those warjacks mano-a-mano and hope to survive. You need to be a bastard about trying to knock them down and getting around them to expose the warcasters. In fact, when Cryx is fighting Khador, I think the more small jacks you have the better. Some of those power attacks are really helpful in gumming up the big jacks, and the more arc nodes the better.

Anyway it was cool! I was really surprised that it went so quickly. It didn't take a lot longer than a 500-point game. It was sure cool to see all that metal on the tahle, too.