Roman Rape-o-lanski
That whole 70s Hollywood culture was pretty out-of-control with all the drugs and what-all, that's one of the uglier stories from it. Polanski sux.
Chinatown is one of my favorite movies. I haven't seen too many of his other movies, only I saw Bitter Moon with Yukari and the Tongs in high school. I invited along Ziskin, Nathan, and Jordan and about halfway through the movie they told me they were going to break my arm.
Oww
I'm getting crusty and old. First of all, I'm hairier than I was two years ago. Second, one part of my body or another has been aching or sore for the last two months. I have this rad back pain which goes through my left buttock, thigh, knee, and testicle. Then my left arm sometimes aches. Then my right shoulder sometimes aches. I think I need an 18-year-old girl to constantly give me physical therapy to completion.
Enron Confidential
Nice to see you Enron! I'll be sure and register for KublaKon by August, just like you said!
Mini-Music Review
Whoever wrote that fucking song with the "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play" chorus needs to be punched in the buttocks. I can't remember the band's name. Fuckhat? Something like that.
Saturday, March 29, 2003
That sucks
Rich people get away with Murder and Rape. Nice... what a wonderful fucking world we live in. Kudos to Chris Rock for "Keepin it Real" and pointing out the "Onioness" world we live in. Dam skippy. Never going to watch another Roman Polanski film / etc, until he gets brought into justice and serves his sentence, Life imprisonment that is. Howard stern called Chris rock a genius. No doubt. Go CR!
jael
Rich people get away with Murder and Rape. Nice... what a wonderful fucking world we live in. Kudos to Chris Rock for "Keepin it Real" and pointing out the "Onioness" world we live in. Dam skippy. Never going to watch another Roman Polanski film / etc, until he gets brought into justice and serves his sentence, Life imprisonment that is. Howard stern called Chris rock a genius. No doubt. Go CR!
jael
Brilliant is No. 1
That is pretty brazen by Chris Rock. But hooray for him calling it how it is. How did Conan handle it? I am sure he has to expect wild comments from Chris. He can be quite a loose cannon AND hilarious. I think Michael Moore's comments were pretty sweet though. Three cheers to him too. Ever since bowling for Columbine I have been a big fan of his. He just jumps right out and says what he wants to say. No sugar coating. Brilliant.
Yeah hopefully David will not be involved in Iraqi campaigns. If he joins in July which is when he is talking about joining, he will not be fully trained until February of next year. Though, he could be involved in any number of countires after that, perhaps N. Korea. David will not be a grunt anyway, which are the ones that have the greatest exposure to what ever toxins they were exposed to. The army is going to place him in communications. His appitudes are way to high for his brain to be wasted on service as a rifleman in the infantry.
Elric: That sucks about the Poll-Lease. Fuckers. "Nah, that ain't my job!" " Well than what is your job?" (Jo Job is what?) "Maybe right now my job is eating these doughnuts. Or maybe... Hey aint you..." Boom Boom. "Yeah."
Jon: Based on your stories below you should seriously consider writing for money. Could be a good career route. ASSHOLE!
Hydicskus
That is pretty brazen by Chris Rock. But hooray for him calling it how it is. How did Conan handle it? I am sure he has to expect wild comments from Chris. He can be quite a loose cannon AND hilarious. I think Michael Moore's comments were pretty sweet though. Three cheers to him too. Ever since bowling for Columbine I have been a big fan of his. He just jumps right out and says what he wants to say. No sugar coating. Brilliant.
Yeah hopefully David will not be involved in Iraqi campaigns. If he joins in July which is when he is talking about joining, he will not be fully trained until February of next year. Though, he could be involved in any number of countires after that, perhaps N. Korea. David will not be a grunt anyway, which are the ones that have the greatest exposure to what ever toxins they were exposed to. The army is going to place him in communications. His appitudes are way to high for his brain to be wasted on service as a rifleman in the infantry.
Elric: That sucks about the Poll-Lease. Fuckers. "Nah, that ain't my job!" " Well than what is your job?" (Jo Job is what?) "Maybe right now my job is eating these doughnuts. Or maybe... Hey aint you..." Boom Boom. "Yeah."
Jon: Based on your stories below you should seriously consider writing for money. Could be a good career route. ASSHOLE!
Hydicskus
Rape is Number 2
Oh.My.God. Chris Rock was on Conan tonight, and Conan asked him:
Conan: So, what did you think about Michael Moore's Oscars speech? You know, everyone has an opinion on it...
CR: I'm cool with Michael Moore. And, everyone knew he was gonna do something like that. BUT, the people in that audience booing Michael Moore, and then later they give a standing ovation to a RAPIST!?!
[Audience: Silent]
Conan: Ugh...
CR: It don't matter WHAT movie you make, you're still a RAPIST. Rape is number 2.
Number 1 is MURDER. After murder comes RAPE. We're going to Iraq to murder Saddam, but not to RAPE him. That would be horrible.
It was pretty fucking funny (eventually the audience stopped being *shocked* but you could tell they were like "how could he say that!")
-Clarification just in case: He's talking about director Roman Polanski (drugged and anally-raped a 13-year old girl in Jack Nicholson's jaccuzi- OOPS.) who got a standing ovation at the "OS-KARZ, you're cock es HUGE."
Oh.My.God. Chris Rock was on Conan tonight, and Conan asked him:
Conan: So, what did you think about Michael Moore's Oscars speech? You know, everyone has an opinion on it...
CR: I'm cool with Michael Moore. And, everyone knew he was gonna do something like that. BUT, the people in that audience booing Michael Moore, and then later they give a standing ovation to a RAPIST!?!
[Audience: Silent]
Conan: Ugh...
CR: It don't matter WHAT movie you make, you're still a RAPIST. Rape is number 2.
Number 1 is MURDER. After murder comes RAPE. We're going to Iraq to murder Saddam, but not to RAPE him. That would be horrible.
It was pretty fucking funny (eventually the audience stopped being *shocked* but you could tell they were like "how could he say that!")
-Clarification just in case: He's talking about director Roman Polanski (drugged and anally-raped a 13-year old girl in Jack Nicholson's jaccuzi- OOPS.) who got a standing ovation at the "OS-KARZ, you're cock es HUGE."
Friday, March 28, 2003
The fuck?
So I just got a spam whose title is "Jam Your cock between my huge Rack [long string of letters and numbers]." OK.
The first two lines of the email read in small text:
"a waxy substance like onto tallow.
We heard that Athelred was injured in another battle, a great one."
Then there's a big pictures of a couple naked chicks. Below that is some text saying that if you're a "breat man," you'll love the site.
Then we're back to small text:
"I do not remember.
She took the lead and said, I thank you.
AVDLNPGLS4873341397
no more offers? please go here
I did not know if he was angered by my boldness, but he answered me with something like a laugh.
I sat up, and heard the bird again, and then looked over to where Gyric lay."
...The fuck?
Phoon Booth
('Cause that's how the Thai girl working on the project misspelled it.)
The movie was pretty "eh." It's pretty fun and watchable, but also really cheesy. It's like a good made-for-TV movie... I'd say it's a good rental, but definitely not worth eleven bucks, or however much a flick costs these days. (It's also SHORT--about an hour and twenty minutes with front and end credits.)
So I just got a spam whose title is "Jam Your cock between my huge Rack [long string of letters and numbers]." OK.
The first two lines of the email read in small text:
"a waxy substance like onto tallow.
We heard that Athelred was injured in another battle, a great one."
Then there's a big pictures of a couple naked chicks. Below that is some text saying that if you're a "breat man," you'll love the site.
Then we're back to small text:
"I do not remember.
She took the lead and said, I thank you.
AVDLNPGLS4873341397
no more offers? please go here
I did not know if he was angered by my boldness, but he answered me with something like a laugh.
I sat up, and heard the bird again, and then looked over to where Gyric lay."
...The fuck?
Phoon Booth
('Cause that's how the Thai girl working on the project misspelled it.)
The movie was pretty "eh." It's pretty fun and watchable, but also really cheesy. It's like a good made-for-TV movie... I'd say it's a good rental, but definitely not worth eleven bucks, or however much a flick costs these days. (It's also SHORT--about an hour and twenty minutes with front and end credits.)
but there are a TON of cops with nothing to do
Someone's got to protect the donuts and beat-up the peaceful anti-war protesters (don't start ENRON!)
No, seriously though, that really sucks. I guess in the future you guys shouldn't leave anything supar-valuable in your car, but still- what a bummer. Now, are the credit card people cool enough to not make Leslie pay for all these bogus charges? I don't know how any of that shit works- unfortunately/fortunatley, I've always been too broke to have any active credit cards- maxed mine out super quick then cut them up- and my atm, lol- go ahead thief-man, try it!
Good luck 2 u guys and have fun in Diego. Big anti-war protest downtown Sunday, and then i'm gonna go help my folks out with some things at night, so no games for me. NEXT TIME 4 SURE. =)
QuiX REVEWZ
Rashamon- Seen it- pretty good. Not my favorite Kurosaki-fu movie, but still better than many other flicks.
Nova: TO THE MOON- Eh, pretty good documentary on the trips to the moon. Would have been cool to be an astronaught back then. How was PHONE BOOTH?
dammit, i know i saw some other movies recently...
i can't remember. More sweet-day-toot reviews soon.
Enron: Tell your brother to be careful. Also tell him about all the vets from Gulf War: version 1.0 who got super-ass-fucked by uncle sam and who continue to "drink it" - gulf war syndrome ain't no joke!
Someone's got to protect the donuts and beat-up the peaceful anti-war protesters (don't start ENRON!)
No, seriously though, that really sucks. I guess in the future you guys shouldn't leave anything supar-valuable in your car, but still- what a bummer. Now, are the credit card people cool enough to not make Leslie pay for all these bogus charges? I don't know how any of that shit works- unfortunately/fortunatley, I've always been too broke to have any active credit cards- maxed mine out super quick then cut them up- and my atm, lol- go ahead thief-man, try it!
Good luck 2 u guys and have fun in Diego. Big anti-war protest downtown Sunday, and then i'm gonna go help my folks out with some things at night, so no games for me. NEXT TIME 4 SURE. =)
QuiX REVEWZ
Rashamon- Seen it- pretty good. Not my favorite Kurosaki-fu movie, but still better than many other flicks.
Nova: TO THE MOON- Eh, pretty good documentary on the trips to the moon. Would have been cool to be an astronaught back then. How was PHONE BOOTH?
dammit, i know i saw some other movies recently...
i can't remember. More sweet-day-toot reviews soon.
Enron: Tell your brother to be careful. Also tell him about all the vets from Gulf War: version 1.0 who got super-ass-fucked by uncle sam and who continue to "drink it" - gulf war syndrome ain't no joke!
Terrific for Me
So, now it appears that I will be going to Dallas, Houston, and Beaumont TX, Albuquerque NM, and West Palm Beach FL. So, I might be in some of the crappiest places on earth (and flying over them inside of a deathtrap called an airplane) for what could be two weeks, depending on the amount of work involved at each site. Suck. Beaumont TX? What the hell?
As for this weekend, I am outta here friday night to go to Sandy Llego for a fun filled 3 years olds birthday party on saturday. So the future Mrs. and I are going to stay the night friday and come home after the party saturday. Which means either saturday night or sunday I am ready to rock BattleBlecch or BB or Halo or whatevers.
My Life of Crime
So Leslies car is broken into monday morning before we are awake. Her wallet, purse, bookbag, books and radio faceplate are stolen. We call and cancel the credit cards and find out that they have been used repeatedly that morning at gas stations and Office Despot. We call the Despot and find out that the manager saw the transactions taking place and knew somethi9ng was wrong because the guys made a large purchase, left, then came back with a different card, made another large purchase and left again. Lets not get into the fact that neither time did they card these gentlemen, but whatever....
Anyway, we go to the Torrance PD and file a report, telling them that we know someone who has seen the perpetrators use the cards and have video tapes of them using the cards. They say they will get back to us. Right. Wednesday we get a call from Discover Card saying the card was declined today blah blah. Great, so we know again these guys used the card in the area, so they are active, too bad the cops aren't.
So then today Leslie got a call from someone a block over from us that has some of her stuff in her trash can along with some stuff from someone else's shit that was stolen too. Great. So we get the info for the other guy who was robbed, call the cops AGAIN to tell them that we have more of a lead to get these bastards, and the clerk tells us our case number isn't coming up at all and that it has yet to filed, apparently. So here we are, sitting on all these leads, all this evidence, and nothing.
All this got me thinking: what the hell am I working for if I can steal shit out of cars, and use stolen credit cards without being ID'd, and suffer no ill effects because there are seemingly no ramifications for doing so? I mean, we have all this information, what they look like, where they have been, fingerprints, etc. and not even a call back from the cops. Not even a call back.
Now, I understand there are larger crimes being committed blah blah, but there are a TON of cops with nothing to do, I see them everyday, why not send one patrol car to the Office Depot, get a report from the manager who saw the "perps" and do something about it!
Good grief.
So, now it appears that I will be going to Dallas, Houston, and Beaumont TX, Albuquerque NM, and West Palm Beach FL. So, I might be in some of the crappiest places on earth (and flying over them inside of a deathtrap called an airplane) for what could be two weeks, depending on the amount of work involved at each site. Suck. Beaumont TX? What the hell?
As for this weekend, I am outta here friday night to go to Sandy Llego for a fun filled 3 years olds birthday party on saturday. So the future Mrs. and I are going to stay the night friday and come home after the party saturday. Which means either saturday night or sunday I am ready to rock BattleBlecch or BB or Halo or whatevers.
My Life of Crime
So Leslies car is broken into monday morning before we are awake. Her wallet, purse, bookbag, books and radio faceplate are stolen. We call and cancel the credit cards and find out that they have been used repeatedly that morning at gas stations and Office Despot. We call the Despot and find out that the manager saw the transactions taking place and knew somethi9ng was wrong because the guys made a large purchase, left, then came back with a different card, made another large purchase and left again. Lets not get into the fact that neither time did they card these gentlemen, but whatever....
Anyway, we go to the Torrance PD and file a report, telling them that we know someone who has seen the perpetrators use the cards and have video tapes of them using the cards. They say they will get back to us. Right. Wednesday we get a call from Discover Card saying the card was declined today blah blah. Great, so we know again these guys used the card in the area, so they are active, too bad the cops aren't.
So then today Leslie got a call from someone a block over from us that has some of her stuff in her trash can along with some stuff from someone else's shit that was stolen too. Great. So we get the info for the other guy who was robbed, call the cops AGAIN to tell them that we have more of a lead to get these bastards, and the clerk tells us our case number isn't coming up at all and that it has yet to filed, apparently. So here we are, sitting on all these leads, all this evidence, and nothing.
All this got me thinking: what the hell am I working for if I can steal shit out of cars, and use stolen credit cards without being ID'd, and suffer no ill effects because there are seemingly no ramifications for doing so? I mean, we have all this information, what they look like, where they have been, fingerprints, etc. and not even a call back from the cops. Not even a call back.
Now, I understand there are larger crimes being committed blah blah, but there are a TON of cops with nothing to do, I see them everyday, why not send one patrol car to the Office Depot, get a report from the manager who saw the "perps" and do something about it!
Good grief.
Thursday, March 27, 2003
Limes, eh?
I once had a dorm mate that tried to convince me that Ice chewing was a sure sign of sexual frustration. I dont know what the logic behind that was.
Insanity Sauce eh? Dave (My step father) has some of that. It is a hot pepper sauce. Maybe, just maybe that kid is not quite as crazy as you think. Then again maybe he thinks he is napoleon in the afterlife and the world is his oyster. To be shucked and violated at his behest.
"Greastest Hambuger" was the exact spelling of the secondary title line for a receipt I received at the Fatburger on Aviation & P.C.H. Gotta love good copy editing.
Giznad, the Brilliant
I once had a dorm mate that tried to convince me that Ice chewing was a sure sign of sexual frustration. I dont know what the logic behind that was.
Insanity Sauce eh? Dave (My step father) has some of that. It is a hot pepper sauce. Maybe, just maybe that kid is not quite as crazy as you think. Then again maybe he thinks he is napoleon in the afterlife and the world is his oyster. To be shucked and violated at his behest.
"Greastest Hambuger" was the exact spelling of the secondary title line for a receipt I received at the Fatburger on Aviation & P.C.H. Gotta love good copy editing.
Giznad, the Brilliant
So, you say my blog output has been low lately?
Take this, suckas!
Now in Convenient Sauce Form
I’m eating a chicken caesar salad in Koo Koo Roo for my dinner when this kid over by the counter shouts “WATER!” and charges the soda fountain. He’s about eleven, husky, sandy brown hair, loose KROQ T-shirt, untied shoelaces. He runs with an uneven gait and appears vaguely frenzied. I glance over at his mom. She’s typical Manhattan Beach, tall, tan, thin, stretch pants. She’s placing a complicated order and is focused on the counterman. I look back to the kid. He’s putting his mouth up to the Minute Maid Lemonade dispenser and pressing the small side button so that water streams into his mouth. After a second of this he pulls back, grabs one of the small shallow plastic cups used for putting condiments into. He starts filling that up and slurping from it at the rate of about 1 slurp every two seconds. Slurp. Fill. Slurp. Fill. Slurp.
There’s something pretty weird about the kid. A couple of young Mexican Koo Koo Roo employees are watching from behind the counter with the amused look that kids have when the retarded kid in class is acting up again. Slurp. Slurp. After a moment one of the guys brings the kid a regular plastic cup and the kid begins drinking water from that.
Everybody in the restaurant is staring at the kid. There’s a peculiar, charged atmosphere.
After a couple minutes the kid finishes drinking. He puts the cup on the counter and starts staring at the bottles full of vibrant, almost fluorescent-green hot sauce that sit in the condiment rack.
The mom walks over to the kid without batting an eye and says something I don’t catch.
“Look, Mom!” he shouts. “It’s insanity sauce!”
“Is it?” she asks calmly.
”Yes!” he shouts.
“They should put a label on it,” she says.
He stares at the bottle for a second.
“It is labelled, Mom! It says that on the label!”
“No it doesn’t,” she says quietly.
This seems to pacify him and they walk to a table and sit down. Everybody turns back to their food. The kid mutters quietly to his mom.
I finish my salad, toss the trash, and glance at the hot sauce label just to make sure the kid’s mom was right. She was. I don’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed, so I just leave.
Random Strokes of Fate
So I ate at Baja Fresh day before yesterday. Order number: 69. I ate at Koo Koo Roo tonight. Order number: 69. If that doesn’t mean something, I don’t know what does.
Fruiterus
During said visit to Baja Fresh, as I started to head to work I grabbed a lime slice, squeezed it, and dropped it into my Diet Pepsi. Back at work, I finished the soda and then started in on the ice. (I’m an inveterate ice-eater.) But first I plucked out the lime slice and was amazed to see that it looked exactly like a miniature vagina. I mean, inner labia and everything.
“Hey Nick,” I says to my friend Nick, “wanna take a turn on my lime-gina?”
He was amazed and appalled, but utterly agreed with my aesthetic assessment. Since there was nobody around I proceeded to go down on the lime-gina for a few seconds, then, with a remarkable lack of concern for the lime’s pleasure, ate it. Nick watched this with pretty much the same look the Mexicans gave the water kid. After I finished, he made me write down the word “lime-gina” on a piece of paper.
Something dumb I did the other week
To amuse Nick, I was pretending to punch myself in the clitoris, in the role of the masturbating, lesbian narrator from The Color Purple, whose phrase for self-pleasure is “mashing the button.” At exactly the moment that fist touched crotch, this female boss of mine who I don’t know very well and don’t like much at all walked into the room.
“Uh, that probably wasn’t what you wanted to see,” I said. She nodded, and proceeded to watch NYPD Blue.
Wait a minute, I think I told you guys about that already?
Oh well.
Three Cool Things My Friend Nick Has Done
1. Had sex on the galleon, in high school. (Location: big half, middle level, net. Position: girl on top. Results: uncomfortable back, unpleasant net-marks in skin. Also, presumably, orgasm.)
2. Played the following game as a youngster, the rules of which are as follows:
a) Get a BB rifle and 1 friend.
b) Pump the rifle X times (where X is the minimum number of times to actually fire a BB)
c) Shoot your friend in the chest.
d) Your friend does a) and b), then shoots you in the chest.
e) Increment X by one. Repeat all steps until lifelong chest scarring ensues.
3. Accidentally infuriated a psychopathic co-worker enough that said co-worker entered the following bug into the public database:
Step 1: Make the Prince move down the hall.
Step 2: Turn left and pick up the blue health potion.
Step 3: Shoot Nick in the head with a loaded .45 without getting any of his blood on your shirt.
Finally, something I realized while watching Phone Booth starring Colin Farrel at work
I’m totally, completely over Star Wars. I no longer think light sabers are particularly cool, nor Darth Vader. I don’t feel like watching The Empire Strikes Back, at all. I am more-or-less totally over something I was pretty sure I’d never be over.
Isn’t that weird?
Oh yeah, and my story
So, it’s all done being edited. I didn’t get back the last set of proofs so I can’t send the final, finished version to anybody (sorry, Rude). But, it looks like things are on schedule. Huzzahr!
Take this, suckas!
Now in Convenient Sauce Form
I’m eating a chicken caesar salad in Koo Koo Roo for my dinner when this kid over by the counter shouts “WATER!” and charges the soda fountain. He’s about eleven, husky, sandy brown hair, loose KROQ T-shirt, untied shoelaces. He runs with an uneven gait and appears vaguely frenzied. I glance over at his mom. She’s typical Manhattan Beach, tall, tan, thin, stretch pants. She’s placing a complicated order and is focused on the counterman. I look back to the kid. He’s putting his mouth up to the Minute Maid Lemonade dispenser and pressing the small side button so that water streams into his mouth. After a second of this he pulls back, grabs one of the small shallow plastic cups used for putting condiments into. He starts filling that up and slurping from it at the rate of about 1 slurp every two seconds. Slurp. Fill. Slurp. Fill. Slurp.
There’s something pretty weird about the kid. A couple of young Mexican Koo Koo Roo employees are watching from behind the counter with the amused look that kids have when the retarded kid in class is acting up again. Slurp. Slurp. After a moment one of the guys brings the kid a regular plastic cup and the kid begins drinking water from that.
Everybody in the restaurant is staring at the kid. There’s a peculiar, charged atmosphere.
After a couple minutes the kid finishes drinking. He puts the cup on the counter and starts staring at the bottles full of vibrant, almost fluorescent-green hot sauce that sit in the condiment rack.
The mom walks over to the kid without batting an eye and says something I don’t catch.
“Look, Mom!” he shouts. “It’s insanity sauce!”
“Is it?” she asks calmly.
”Yes!” he shouts.
“They should put a label on it,” she says.
He stares at the bottle for a second.
“It is labelled, Mom! It says that on the label!”
“No it doesn’t,” she says quietly.
This seems to pacify him and they walk to a table and sit down. Everybody turns back to their food. The kid mutters quietly to his mom.
I finish my salad, toss the trash, and glance at the hot sauce label just to make sure the kid’s mom was right. She was. I don’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed, so I just leave.
Random Strokes of Fate
So I ate at Baja Fresh day before yesterday. Order number: 69. I ate at Koo Koo Roo tonight. Order number: 69. If that doesn’t mean something, I don’t know what does.
Fruiterus
During said visit to Baja Fresh, as I started to head to work I grabbed a lime slice, squeezed it, and dropped it into my Diet Pepsi. Back at work, I finished the soda and then started in on the ice. (I’m an inveterate ice-eater.) But first I plucked out the lime slice and was amazed to see that it looked exactly like a miniature vagina. I mean, inner labia and everything.
“Hey Nick,” I says to my friend Nick, “wanna take a turn on my lime-gina?”
He was amazed and appalled, but utterly agreed with my aesthetic assessment. Since there was nobody around I proceeded to go down on the lime-gina for a few seconds, then, with a remarkable lack of concern for the lime’s pleasure, ate it. Nick watched this with pretty much the same look the Mexicans gave the water kid. After I finished, he made me write down the word “lime-gina” on a piece of paper.
Something dumb I did the other week
To amuse Nick, I was pretending to punch myself in the clitoris, in the role of the masturbating, lesbian narrator from The Color Purple, whose phrase for self-pleasure is “mashing the button.” At exactly the moment that fist touched crotch, this female boss of mine who I don’t know very well and don’t like much at all walked into the room.
“Uh, that probably wasn’t what you wanted to see,” I said. She nodded, and proceeded to watch NYPD Blue.
Wait a minute, I think I told you guys about that already?
Oh well.
Three Cool Things My Friend Nick Has Done
1. Had sex on the galleon, in high school. (Location: big half, middle level, net. Position: girl on top. Results: uncomfortable back, unpleasant net-marks in skin. Also, presumably, orgasm.)
2. Played the following game as a youngster, the rules of which are as follows:
a) Get a BB rifle and 1 friend.
b) Pump the rifle X times (where X is the minimum number of times to actually fire a BB)
c) Shoot your friend in the chest.
d) Your friend does a) and b), then shoots you in the chest.
e) Increment X by one. Repeat all steps until lifelong chest scarring ensues.
3. Accidentally infuriated a psychopathic co-worker enough that said co-worker entered the following bug into the public database:
Step 1: Make the Prince move down the hall.
Step 2: Turn left and pick up the blue health potion.
Step 3: Shoot Nick in the head with a loaded .45 without getting any of his blood on your shirt.
Finally, something I realized while watching Phone Booth starring Colin Farrel at work
I’m totally, completely over Star Wars. I no longer think light sabers are particularly cool, nor Darth Vader. I don’t feel like watching The Empire Strikes Back, at all. I am more-or-less totally over something I was pretty sure I’d never be over.
Isn’t that weird?
Oh yeah, and my story
So, it’s all done being edited. I didn’t get back the last set of proofs so I can’t send the final, finished version to anybody (sorry, Rude). But, it looks like things are on schedule. Huzzahr!
I was saying Booo-urns
Ah.. I had almost forgotten about the brilliant 'Greastest Hambugers' Three cheers to Elreich The Third. Ya! My name is Mista Hass. Ahh.. do you know what that menas in German. HAaa... You are mista hate. Boooooo...
Hey Rude do not forget lots of swearing, whoring, and humanity points for the day of prayer. Also do not forget your master skills of persuasion, the shotgun, and the 14 year old girls. Poor, poor Alexander will never be the same. Then again according to our illustrious GM grand mizard Elreich, we were all going to die, and or lose our insanity for sure on our way south. F#*ker!
Johnny, where in the world did you run across that site? I wonder about you. You know a dolphin is not really bring home to the parents kind of material that we talked about on friday. I am sure she was nice and all but the fins really do her in.
Elric where did you run across those inspirational quotes. Great stuff. Stuff to live by.
All: It looks pretty set, David will be joining the military in July. What can I say, it may actually be good for that monkey.
Gore Nads
Ah.. I had almost forgotten about the brilliant 'Greastest Hambugers' Three cheers to Elreich The Third. Ya! My name is Mista Hass. Ahh.. do you know what that menas in German. HAaa... You are mista hate. Boooooo...
Hey Rude do not forget lots of swearing, whoring, and humanity points for the day of prayer. Also do not forget your master skills of persuasion, the shotgun, and the 14 year old girls. Poor, poor Alexander will never be the same. Then again according to our illustrious GM grand mizard Elreich, we were all going to die, and or lose our insanity for sure on our way south. F#*ker!
Johnny, where in the world did you run across that site? I wonder about you. You know a dolphin is not really bring home to the parents kind of material that we talked about on friday. I am sure she was nice and all but the fins really do her in.
Elric where did you run across those inspirational quotes. Great stuff. Stuff to live by.
All: It looks pretty set, David will be joining the military in July. What can I say, it may actually be good for that monkey.
Gore Nads
House Approves National Day of Prayer
Sweet. This government RULES. "Under the resolution, President Bush would issue a proclamation designating a specific day as a day of 'humility, prayer and fasting."
Ok, so lets all promise to hit up BIG WOK that day followed by lots of DRINKING and maybe some D&D. :)
Sweet. This government RULES. "Under the resolution, President Bush would issue a proclamation designating a specific day as a day of 'humility, prayer and fasting."
Ok, so lets all promise to hit up BIG WOK that day followed by lots of DRINKING and maybe some D&D. :)
This is the greatest....
If any of you are wondering how dolphins mate, well turn off the discovery channel that you are watching during daytime television and look here. It will clarify it all.
http://www.dolphinsex.org/
Masturbation
Nobody can tell if you do it too much, and it's a sure sign that you have too much time on your hands, not to mention other things as well.
Jael
If any of you are wondering how dolphins mate, well turn off the discovery channel that you are watching during daytime television and look here. It will clarify it all.
http://www.dolphinsex.org/
Masturbation
Nobody can tell if you do it too much, and it's a sure sign that you have too much time on your hands, not to mention other things as well.
Jael
These Things Are The Greastest Hambugers
Meetings
None Of Us Is As Dumb As All Of Us.
Procrastination
Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, but Laziness Always Pays Off Now.
Motivation
If A Pretty Poster And A Cute Saying Are All It Takes To Motivate You, You Probably Have A Very Easy Job. The Kind Robots Will Be Doing Soon.
Apathy
If We Don't Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They'll Stop Bugging Us.
Consulting
If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Made In Prolonging The Problem.
Mediocrity
It Takes a Lot Less Time and Most People Won't Notice the Difference Until It's Too Late.
Mistakes
It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life Is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others.
...and my favorite....
Incompetence
When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There's No End To What You Can't Do.
Meetings
None Of Us Is As Dumb As All Of Us.
Procrastination
Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, but Laziness Always Pays Off Now.
Motivation
If A Pretty Poster And A Cute Saying Are All It Takes To Motivate You, You Probably Have A Very Easy Job. The Kind Robots Will Be Doing Soon.
Apathy
If We Don't Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They'll Stop Bugging Us.
Consulting
If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Made In Prolonging The Problem.
Mediocrity
It Takes a Lot Less Time and Most People Won't Notice the Difference Until It's Too Late.
Mistakes
It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life Is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others.
...and my favorite....
Incompetence
When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There's No End To What You Can't Do.
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